Boats are an indispensable part of human civilization, facilitating exploration, trade, transportation, and recreation across oceans and rivers. Their ubiquity in society makes them a ripe source of humor, as evidenced by the plethora of boat puns and nautical wordplay that has emerged. From jokes about anchors, rudders, and bows, to quips about capsizing, docking, and rowing, boat puns run the gamut from clever to cheesy.
But all boat puns share one thing in common – they give us a chance to let off some steam with lighthearted maritime mirth. So whether you’re an old salt looking for some humor to tide you over, or a landlubber dipping your toes into nautical nonsense, boat puns can provide a moment of levity to brighten your day. With a trove of punny potential at our fingertips, it’s plain to sea why boat puns continue making waves.
Funny Boat Puns
Don’t worry if your boat gets a hole in it, that’s how portholes are made!
What do you call a psychic little boat? A small medium at large.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of water? A hydropho-boat.
Why was the boat left behind at the dock? It missed the boat!
Why don’t oars like jokes? They always row them!
I tried learning to row, but I kept getting oar-verwhelmed.
What do you call a boat that sells products door to door? A sales ship!
Why was the boat late to work? It overswept.
How do ships communicate under water? They use their sonar wave.
I was going to make a boat pun, but I decided to abandon ship.
What kind of shoes do sailors wear? Boat shoes.
I wanted to learn to row, but I kept flipping my ship.
What do you call a ferry boat that transports cars? A car-go ship!
Why don’t eggs travel on boats? They might get boat-iled!
Boats can’t be sad. They can only be a little blue.
What do you call a line of boats? A floatilla.
Boats should stick together. After all, we’re all in the same boat!
What do you call a boat full of bubbles? A ship full of fizz!
How do ships see at night? Using their nautical lights.
I tried paddling a boat, but I just kept going in circles. I was getting nowhere fast!
Why don’t eggs travel on boats? They might get shell-shocked!
What do you call a boat that’s about to get married? A bride-ship!
Why was the boat full of water? It sprang a leak!
Did you hear about the boat that had a bad day? It was feeling a little shipwrecked.
Why can’t you hear a yacht when its docked? Because it’s berthed!
What do you call a boat that eats cereal? A motor-oat boat!
Why shouldn’t you try to sink other people’s ships? That’s just not cricket!
What kind of boat should you take to see a concert? A rock ‘n’ row boat!
Why do porcupines make bad boat builders? They keep popping the hulls!
Did you hear about the ship that ran aground and got stuck? It was un-berthable.
What did the big boat say to the little boat? Can I tow you home?
How do boats get onto the internet? They log in.
Why did the sailor bring sandpaper on his boat? To improve his abrasion resistance.
What do you call a line of boats getting smaller into the distance? A horizon tal line.
Why was the anchor grumpy? It was feeling down in the dumps.
What kind of knots do ships use the most? Nautical knots.
I wanted to learn to row, but I kept making waves instead.
What do you call a small boat made of dollar bills? A single currency vessel.
Why are boats so bad at knitting? They always drop one!
What do you call a boat with eight wheels? An octo-wheel-er!
What do you call a boat that makes you feel peaceful? A sereni-ty.
Why was the boat wearing a life vest? It was worried it might cap-size!
Why do ships use maps? To get their bearings straight.
What did the anchor say to the boat? I’ve got you covered!
What do you call a boat that flies? A hydroplane.
I tried paddling my boat upstream, but it was completely futile.
Why did the boat crash into the dock? It couldn’t brake!
Why was the yacht arrested? It was caught smuggling crew.
What do you call a boat race between crustaceans? A naval crayfish derby.
What do you call a boat that sells ice cream? A sundae cruiser!
Did you hear about the ship that ran into the iceberg head first? It was a frontal collision.
Why do boats hate storms? It really rocks their boat!
Why was the boat’s anchor resting? It was taking a break.
What do you call a boat garage? A docking station.
Why was the boat feeling optimistic? It was thinking positive!
Why shouldn’t you try to board someone else’s ship? That’s bad ship etiquette!
What do you call a boat that transports appliances? A washer-dryer ship!
Why was the boat feeling down? It was having an emotional tide.
What do you call a boat that sells plants? A flower ship!
Why couldn’t the boat dock properly? It kept missing the boat!
Why do ships use maps? To get their bearing straight.
What do you call two boats that collide? A pair of ships!
What do you call a boat comedian? A funny barge!
Why was the boat full of trash? It needed to be refungussed.
What do you call a boat that delivers the mail? A schooner or letter!
Did you hear the joke about the eel and the shipwreck? There’s something fishy about it.
What do you call a boat party for dogs? A bark mitzvah!
Why was the boat friendly to everyone? It had an open port policy.
What do you call a boat that speaks French? Le yacht!
Do you know why ships have a stern? So they have a place to put their poop deck!
Why do porcupines hate boarding boats? They always end up popping the hull!
What do you call a psychic boat? A fortune teller ship!
Hilarious Boat Jokes
Why did the boat break up with the pier? It couldn’t handle the constant attachment!
I used to be a sailor, but I couldn’t stand the boatload of work.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the boat apply for a job? It wanted to stay afloat in this economy!
I told my boat a joke, but it didn’t laugh. It just gave me a stern look.
Why was the math book sad on the boat? Because it had too many problems!
What do you call a boat that’s not yours? Not-cho boat!
Why did the scarecrow become a sailor? He was outstanding in his field!
What do you call a boat with a hole in it? A sink-ship!
Why did the boat get in trouble with the law? It was caught in a “tide” case!
I made a pun about boats, but it was shipwrecked.
What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the boat take a nap? It was feeling a little “ship” faced.
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the dark? A “navey” nightlight!
Did you hear about the boat that started a band? It had great “harbor”mony!
Why did the boat bring a ladder? It wanted to go to the second deck!
What’s a boat’s favorite place in New York City? The yacht club!
Why was the boat so good at playing cards? It always had an ace up its sleeve!
What do you call a boat that tells jokes? A pun-tune!
What’s a boat’s favorite type of music? Rock ‘n’ roll!
Why don’t boats ever get lost at sea? Because they always follow their “nose”!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it on a boat!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s ‘R,’ but it’s really the ‘C’ they love!
Why did the boat go to therapy? It had too many deep-sea issues!
What do you call a boat with a lot of money? A yacht-y millionaire!
What do you call a boat with a criminal record? A con-boat!
What do you get when you cross a boat and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the boat become a chef? It wanted to learn how to make some killer “seafood”!
What do you call a boat that loves to take baths? A tub-boat!
What’s a boat’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-marine!
Why did the boat apply for a loan? It needed some liquid assets!
Why did the boat join the baseball team? It wanted to be a good catcher!
What’s a boat’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good “tide”!
Why did the boat bring a broom? It wanted to sweep the competition!
How do you know if a boat is intelligent? It has a high Q-sea!
What do you call a boat that’s been everywhere? A world wide “ship”!
Why did the boat go to school? To get a little “oar-d”ucation!
What’s a boat’s favorite dessert? “Float” ice cream!
Why did the boat start a podcast? It had some great “ship” to share!
What do you call a boat that’s a good listener? A sympatug boat!
Why don’t boats ever play hide and seek? Because they always get caught “port-handed”!
What’s a boat’s favorite game? “Hide and sea-k”!
Why did the boat bring a map to the ocean? It wanted to “sea” where it was going!
What’s a boat’s favorite type of dance? The “sail”!
Why did the boat break up with the canoe? It felt like it was being “paddled” around!
What do you call a boat that tells spooky stories? A “sailor” of the dark!
Why did the boat start a comedy club? Because it wanted to “harbor” some laughter!
What do you get when you cross a boat and a cat? A sailor who’s all “paws”!
What’s a boat’s favorite instrument? The “buoy” drum!
Why was the boat always at the doctor’s office? It had a bad case of “hull”-ness!
What do you call a boat that’s good at solving problems? A trouble-“sea”t!
Why did the boat refuse to play cards with the ocean? It was tired of getting “dealt” a bad hand!
What do you call a boat that’s always in a hurry? Row-mantic!
Why did the boat bring a pencil to the sea? In case it had to draw a “liner”!
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of heights? Sub-marine!
Why was the boat so good at math? Because it had a lot of “buoy”-ancy!
What do you call a boat that’s been in a lot of accidents? A “crash” course!
Why did the boat become a gardener? It wanted to “harbor” some plants!
What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy-yacht!
Why did the boat bring a backpack to the ocean? It wanted to have a “reef”-reshing adventure!
What do you call a boat that loves to read? A “book-ay”!
Why did the boat get a job at the bakery? It wanted to make some “dough”!
What do you call a boat that’s always happy? A “shipper” mood!
Why did the boat apply for a job as a detective? It wanted to “sail-ve” some mysteries!
What’s a boat’s favorite snack? Ship cookies!
Why did the boat bring a ladder to the beach? It wanted to go to the “next level” of relaxation!
What’s a boat’s favorite song? “Rock the Boat”!
Why did the boat get a computer? It wanted to surf the net!
What do you call a boat that’s always making predictions? A “forecast”-er!
Why did the boat become a chef? It wanted to “sea”food in a whole new way!
What do you call a boat that’s a real crowd-pleaser? An “anchor” of entertainment!
Why did the boat become a lawyer? It wanted to argue its “case”!
What do you call a boat that’s always telling jokes? A “comedy” cutter!
Why did the boat start a blog? It had a lot of “h
Funny One Liners on Boat
My boat is so slow, it even takes the scenic route to the sink.
I’m not saying my boat is old, but it’s so old, it’s got a wooden anchor.
I’m not saying my boat is small, but it’s so small, it sinks when I step on it.
I’m not saying my boat is leaky, but it’s so leaky, I have to bail it out every time I go fishing.
I’m not saying my boat is unreliable, but it’s so unreliable, I have to keep a spare paddle in the car.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble? A boat-load of trouble.
What do you call a boat that’s always late? A boat-tard.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting lost? A boat-tle of rum.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into fights? A boat-tle of fists.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting sick? A boat-tle of germs.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into accidents? A boat-tle of wrecks.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble with the law? A boat-tle of criminals.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble with the ladies? A boat-tle of hearts.
Here are some more:
I’m not saying my boat is a lemon, but it’s so sour, it makes the fish jealous.
I’m not saying my boat is a piece of junk, but it’s so old, it’s got a barnacle on the steering wheel.
I’m not saying my boat is a hazard, but it’s so slow, it’s a danger to itself.
I’m not saying my boat is a joke, but it’s so funny, it makes the seagulls laugh.
I’m not saying my boat is a pain in the neck, but it’s so annoying, it makes the waves want to quit.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting lost? A canoe-fusion.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble? A yacht-astrophe.
What do you call a boat that’s always late? A dinghy-al.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting sick? A sail-boat with a flu.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into accidents? A motor-boat with a broken rudder.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble with the law? A pirate-ship with a mutiny.
What do you call a boat that’s always getting into trouble with the ladies? A luxury yacht with a broken compass.
I’m not saying my boat is a fixer-upper, but it’s so old, it’s got a wooden engine.
I’m not saying my boat is a nightmare, but it’s so scary, it makes the sharks shiver.
I’m not saying my boat is a disaster, but it’s so bad, it makes the icebergs melt.
I’m not saying my boat is a joke, but it’s so funny, it makes the dolphins laugh.
I’m not saying my boat is a pain, but it’s so annoying, it makes the waves want to crash.