Ghosts and ghouls have long been fodder for Halloween humor. With their supernatural abilities to walk through walls and haunt the living, ghosts are perfectly primed for paranormal puns and plays on words. This Halloween, get your funny bone ready for a barrage of boos and ha-has with these ghostly puns. Whether you’re looking to give your friends a frightful laugh or entertain trick-or-treaters with clever wordplay, these spirited puns will lift your Halloween high-jinks to hilarious new heights. From haunted word substitutions to supernatural twists on common phrases, these ghost gags and apparition jokes will have you screaming with laughter. So grab your sheet and rattle those chains—it’s time to unleash a phantom-astic collection of ghost puns!
Funny Ghost Puns
Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.
Why did the ghost get thrown out of class? Because he had no body to teach.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? Look at the boooooard.
Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
Why do ghosts love elevators? It lifts their spirits.
What do you call a ghost who lives in your fridge? The ghostess with the mostess.
Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.
What do you call a happy ghost? A glad spirit.
Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Booberries.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends.
What do you call a ghost who just broke up with her boyfriend? Single apparition.
Why do ghosts enjoy riding elevators? It raises their spirits.
What’s a ghosts favorite dessert? I scream!
Why do ghosts love to ride in elevators? It lifts their spirits!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a ghost? A haunted neck!
Why don’t ghosts have jobs? They took their work to the grave.
What do you call a serious ghost? Grave.
Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
Why do ghosts make great dancers? They know all the footloose and fancy free steps.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost? “Do you believe in people?”
What do you call two ghosts playing chess? A stale mate.
What do you give a sick ghost? Some Vitamin BOO!
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers
What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice scream.
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was having a haunting problem.
What do you call a ghost in the wintertime? A brrrr apparition!
Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits!
What do you call a ghost detective? A Paranormal Investigator.
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
What do you call a vampire who makes pancakes? Count Spatula.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
Why didn’t the ghost go to prom? He had no body to go with!
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo!
What do ghosts wear when it’s raining outside? Boondriers!
Why are haunted houses great places to live? Because ghosts take care of all the household chores!
Why are ghosts bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them!
What’s a ghosts favorite bean? Human beans!
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school? His heart wasn’t in it!
What did the ghost teacher say to her students? Look at the boooooard!
Why are ghosts so easy to fool? Because they’re easily tricked or spooked!
What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until your spooken to!
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos.
Why do ghosts love elevators? It raises their spirits!
Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store.
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was having a haunting problem!
What does a ghost call his mom and dad? His transparents!
Why don’t angry ghosts haunt humans? They don’t want to scare anyone to death!
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
What’s a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation? A scareplane!
What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Booberries!
Why did the ghost ride the elevator? To lift her spirits!
What do you call a ghost who gets too close to a campfire? Toast!
Where do ghosts mail their letters? At the ghost office!
What do you call a ghost who lives in your attic? A ceiling fan!
What do you get if you cross a ghost and an elephant? Lumpy custard!
What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? Whipped scream!
What is a ghosts favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie!
Why are ghosts bad at telling lies? Because you can see right through them!
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? Boo boos!
Why do ghosts enjoy riding in elevators? It raises their spirits!
Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!
What do you call a happy ghost? A glad spirit!
Why are haunted houses so messy? Their ghost keep lurking around.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-BOO!
Why do ghosts have their hair cut? To give themselves a little off the top!
Hilarious Jokes on Ghost
Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain? Because it dampens their spirits!
What did the ghost order at the bar? A boo-ze!
How do you make a ghost laugh? Tell a corny “boo” joke!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
Why did the ghost apply for a job? Because he heard it was a “dead” end!
How do you know when a ghost is in the mood to dance? When it’s “boo-gieing”!
What do you call a ghost in a torn bedsheet? A “holy” terror!
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? Because it raises their spirits!
What kind of music do ghosts like to listen to? “Soul” music, of course!
What did the ghost bring to the potluck? Spook-ghetti!
Why don’t ghosts ever lie? Because you can see right through them!
What do you get when you cross a ghost and a vampire? A ghouly good time!
How do ghosts stay in shape? They exorcise regularly!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hobo-boo!
Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She kept telling him he was too transparent.
What did one ghost say to the other? “You’re a real sheet-head!”
Why did the ghost go to the party? To have a ghoulishly good time!
What do you call a ghost that haunts a bakery? A “gluten-free” spirit!
How do you make a ghost stop haunting you? Take away its “booze” privileges!
What do you call a ghost that’s always on time? Punctual poltergeist!
What do you get when you cross a ghost and a snowman? Frostbite!
What do you call a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie!
Why do ghosts make terrible liars? Because they’re too transparent.
How do you chat with a ghost? You use a “spirited” conversation!
Why did the ghost go to the party? To have a “boo” last night!
What did one ghost say to the other at the restaurant? “Do you mind if I join you for a bite?”
Why don’t ghosts use cell phones? Because they have “no-body” to call!
How do you keep a ghost in suspense? Don’t tell them how the story ends!
What did the ghost teacher say to her students? “Don’t be scared to ask questions – I won’t bite!”
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream!
What do you get when you cross a ghost and a cat? A scaredy-cat!
Why did the ghost go to therapy? To exorcise its inner demons!
What do you call a ghost who’s always whining? A “boohoo” ghost!
Why did the ghost get kicked out of the séance? He couldn’t keep his spirits up!
How do you mend a broken ghost’s heart? With a spirit-level!
What do you call a friendly ghost? Casp-erfect!
What’s a ghost’s favorite social media platform? Insta-boo-gram!
Why don’t ghosts like rainbows? Because they’re afraid of “boos” at the end!
How do ghosts tell time? With a boo-lex watch!
What do you call a ghost that’s a messy eater? A “polter-gross”!
How do ghosts stay cool in the summer? They use scare conditioning!
Why do ghosts love to ride roller coasters? They get a real “scream” out of it!
How do ghosts navigate through the fog? They use their “spook-tacles”!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of street? A “dead” end!
What did the ghost bring to the picnic? His “ghoul”-osh!
Why was the ghost arrested at the comedy club? He was caught with boo-zing!
What’s a ghost’s favorite candy? Boo-blegum!
How do ghosts keep their hair in place? With scare-spray!
Why did the ghost apply for a loan? He wanted to buy a new “grave”yard!
What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Booberries!
Why don’t ghosts like to go out on windy days? It blows their sheets away!
How do ghosts play hide and seek? They simply vanish!
What do you call a ghost on the rocks? A “ghoul”ada!
How do you fix a broken ghost? With a little “boo-tape”!
Why did the ghost become a chef? Because he heard he could work with “soul” food!
What do you call a ghost who’s always telling jokes? A “punny” ghost!
Why did the ghost go to school? To improve his “ghoulish” knowledge!
How do you know when a ghost is mad? He gets “boo-urnt” out!
Why was the ghost so bad at poker? Because he couldn’t keep a straight face!
What do you call a ghost who’s great at math? A “boo-nomist”!
Why did the ghost go broke? Because he lost his sheet in the stock market!
How do ghosts communicate with each other? They use a “scare”-phone!
What do you call a ghost comedian’s best material? His “boo-rilliant” jokes!
Why do ghosts make terrible lifeguards? Because they can’t save anyone!
What’s a ghost’s favorite song? “Boo-gie Wonderland”!
How do ghosts get around town? In a “boo”-s!
Why did the ghost get locked out of the haunted house? Because he lost his “boo” keys!
What do you call a ghost who’s a fan of Elvis Presley? A “Blue Suede Shoes-pernatural”!
What’s a ghost’s favorite game show? “Who Wants to Be a Scare-ionaire?”
Why don’t ghosts ever play hide and seek with mummies? Because they always “wrap” things up too quickly!
How do ghosts celebrate their birthdays? With “ghoul”-ash cake!
Why don’t ghosts ever get lost? They always follow the “boo”-prints!
Funny One Liners on Ghost
What’s a ghost’s favorite room in a house? The living room. (Because they’re not living.)
Why did the ghost go to the beach? To get some sand in his sheets.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin’ goblin.
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was feeling under the weather.
What do you call a ghost with no eyes? Boo-tiful.
What do you call a ghost with no nose? Nobody.
What do you call a ghost with no mouth? Boo-tiful. (Again.)
What do you call a ghost with no ears? Unboolievable.
What do you call a ghost with no arms? Dis-arm-ing.
What do you call a ghost with no legs? Footloose.
What do you call a ghost with no body? A spirit.
What do you call a ghost who’s always late? A slow-poke.
What do you call a ghost who’s always hungry? A foodie.
What do you call a ghost who’s always cold? A chill-axer.
What do you call a ghost who’s always happy? A boo-tiful soul.
What do you call a ghost who’s always sad? A boo-hoo.
What do you call a ghost who’s always angry? A boo-ger.
What do you call a ghost who’s always scared? A boo-geyman.
What do you call a ghost who’s always lost? A ghost-town.
What do you call a ghost who’s always on the move? A ghost-rider.
What do you call a ghost who’s always telling jokes? A funny ghost.
What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and seek.
What’s a ghost’s favorite candy? Boo-berry.
What’s a ghost’s favorite drink? Boo-tea.
What’s a ghost’s favorite restaurant? A boo-ffet.
What’s a ghost’s favorite movie? A boo-vie.
What’s a ghost’s favorite book? A ghost-written book.
What’s a ghost’s favorite song? “Ghost Riders in the Sky.”
What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the week? Fright-day.
What’s a ghost’s favorite holiday? Halloween.
What’s a ghost’s favorite place to go on vacation? A haunted house.
What’s a ghost’s favorite thing to do on a rainy day? Read a ghost-written book.
What’s a ghost’s favorite thing to do on a sunny day? Get a tan. (Even though they can’t.)
Why did the ghost go to the dentist? To get a root canal!
What’s a ghost’s favorite drink? Boo-berry juice!
What’s a ghost’s favorite sport? Ghoulish ball!
What’s a ghost’s favorite book? “To Kill a Mockingbird” – because they’re already dead!
What’s a ghost’s favorite movie? “Ghostbusters” – because it’s about them!
What’s a ghost’s favorite song? “Thriller” by Michael Jackson!
What’s a ghost’s favorite color? Boo-tiful white!
What’s a ghost’s favorite animal? A spook-tacular owl!
What’s a ghost’s favorite holiday? Halloween-duh!
What’s a ghost’s favorite saying? “Boo-lieve it!”
Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to the dead side!
What do you call a ghost with no body? A lost soul!
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin’ goblin!
What do you call a ghost who loves to dance? A ghoul-mover!
What do you call a ghost who loves to eat? A ghoulish gourmet!
What do you call a ghost who loves to read? A boo-kworm!
What do you call a ghost who loves to travel? A globetrotter!
What do you call a ghost who loves to shop? A boo-tique shopper!
What do you call a ghost who loves to play sports? A poltergeist athlete!
What do you call a ghost who loves to party? A boo-zer!
What’s the difference between a ghost and a zombie? A ghost is dead and doesn’t have a body, while a zombie is dead and has a body. But they both have a great sense of humor!
Why did the ghost go to the library? To check out a boo-k!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was feeling under the weather!
Why did the ghost go to the beach? To soak up some sun and catch some rays!
Why did the ghost go to the gym? To get a boo-dy!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? Doo-wop!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of dance? The boo-gie!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of food? Bolognese!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of drink? Boo-berry juice!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pet? A boo-tiful cat!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of sport? Ghoulish ball!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of movie? A ghost story!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of book? A boo-tiful novel!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of video game? A spooktacular adventure!
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of job? A haunting!
I hope you enjoyed these funny one-liners about ghosts! Happy Halloween!