Olives have long been a source of humor and comedy. Their small, oval shape and ubiquitous presence in foods like martinis, salads, and pizzas make them a prime target for punny jokes. Olive puns take advantage of the word “olive” and substitute it into common phrases and expressions to humorous effect. They play on the different meanings of olive – as a fruit, a color, and a verb meaning to live – to surprise the reader and elicit a laugh. In the following paragraphs, you’ll find over 100 original olive puns that I came up with. From olive painters and olive leagues to olive-zzz and keeping up with the olive-dashians, these jokes cover all things olive. Some poke fun at olives’ appearance and role in foods, while others use olive as a stand-in for popular culture references. Whatever the case, these olive puns are sure to tickle your funny bone and leave you craving more of this unique brand of food-based humor.
Funny Olive Puns
Why did the olive break up with the fig? It couldn’t handle the pits anymore!
What’s an olive’s favorite song? “Hit Me With Your Best Pit” by Pat Benatar.
Olive you so much, it hurts!
I’m feeling olive-rwhelmed with joy!
Don’t be a sour olive, be a happy one!
Let’s olive happily ever after!
Olive you like a love song, baby!
I’m totally olive-ing life right now!
Olive you to the fridge and back!
You’re the olive to my martini.
Olive a good joke, especially puns!
Olive it when you laugh at my jokes!
Life is better with a jar of olives!
You’re my olive in shining armor!
Olive a sudden, everything is funnier!
Olive a good snack, especially with cheese!
Olive the small things in life.
Olive you more than words can say!
Olive you, yes, it’s true!
Olive you’re my favorite person!
Olive you forever and always!
Olive you a bunch, like grapes!
Olive you a latte!
You’re the olive to my pizza!
Olive you like no other!
Olive you like a fat kid loves cake!
Olive you more than a bear loves honey!
I’m olive for you, my dear!
Olive you just the way you are!
Olive you because you’re unique!
You’re the pit’s olive to my heart!
I’m olive for your affection!
Olive you like a bee loves pollen!
Olive you, no matter the weather!
Olive you like a dog loves a bone!
You’re the olive to my toothpick!
I’m olive you’re in my life!
Olive you like a fish loves water!
Olive you’re my best friend!
Olive you’re so punny!
Olive you’re a-peeling!
Olive you’re so olive-ly!
Olive you’re a catch!
Olive you’re the zest!
Olive you’re my rock!
Olive you’re the apple of my eye!
Olive you’re the cream in my coffee!
Olive you’re the cherry on top!
Olive you’re a real gem!
Olive you’re the peanut to my butter!
Olive you’re a-maize-ing!
Olive you’re my sunshine!
Olive you’re my knight in shining armor!
Olive you’re the salt of the earth!
Olive you’re my ray of light!
Olive you’re my missing piece!
Olive you’re my sweetie pie!
Olive you’re my cup of tea!
Olive you’re a real peach!
Olive you’re my MVP (Most Valuable Person)!
Olive you’re my hero!
Olive you’re the spice of my life!
Olive you’re my treasure!
Olive you’re my better half!
Olive you’re my favorite flavor!
Olive you’re my happy place!
Olive you’re my muse!
Olive you’re my secret ingredient!
Olive you’re my rockstar!
Olive you’re my MVP (Most Valuable Pimento)!
Olive you’re my guiding light!
Olive you’re my sweet escape!
Olive you’re my favorite dish!
Olive you’re my shining star!
Olive you’re my soulmate!
Olive you’re my favorite slice!
Olive you’re my rainbow after the rain!
Olive you’re my compass!
Olive you’re my constant!
Olive you’re my saving grace!
Olive you’re my beacon!
Olive you’re my happy pill!
Olive you’re my happy ending!
Olive you’re my pot of gold!
Olive you’re my oasis!
Olive you’re my greatest adventure!
Olive you’re my bright side!
Olive you’re my lighthouse!
Olive you’re my better half!
Olive you’re my starlight!
Olive you’re my slice of heaven!
Olive you’re my comfort zone!
Olive you’re my dream come true!
Olive you’re my sweet spot!
Olive you’re my silver lining!
Olive you’re my jackpot!
Olive you’re my main squeeze!
Olive you’re my missing puzzle piece!
Olive you’re my sugar rush!
Olive you’re my lucky charm!
I’m so addicted to olives, I once pitted a whole bowl just to watch “The Pitfalls of Olive Addiction” on Netflix.
My love for olives is so strong, I could martini-ly handle living without them.
What do you call an olive with a superiority complex? Highfalutin’.
Olives are the unsung heroes of the charcuterie board. Who needs meat when you have these salty little gems?
I’m not saying I’m obsessed with olives, but I named my dog Kalamata. (Don’t worry, his real name is Kevin.)
This olive is so pitted, it’s got existential dread.
I’m olive you so much! (Okay, that one was low-hanging fruit.)
My therapist told me to stop bottling up my emotions, so I ate a jar of olives. Still emotional, but at least I’m regular now.
What did the olive say when it got kicked out of the martini? “Olive you!” (I apologize for the pun-demic.)
I’m on a low-carb diet, but I make an exception for olives. They’re like the tiny, salty carbs of my dreams.
I’m so extra, I even put olives in my pizza. Don’t judge me, Joey Tribbiani did it first.
If olives were characters in Lord of the Rings, they’d be the Entwives, taking forever to get anything done.
My favorite superhero? Olive Man! He fights crime with the power of deliciousness.
What’s the difference between a Jedi and an olive? One uses the Force, the other is used for farce. (Please don’t force me to explain this one.)
I’m not sure what’s more iconic, the olive branch or the olive emoji.
I once tried to make a friendship bracelet out of olives. It was a pit-iful disaster.
What’s the best thing about being an olive? You get to hang out with other olives all day in a jar. Sounds like a pitty party to me.
I’m not a morning person, but a cup of olive oil definitely helps me wake up and seize the brine.
Jokes on Olive
What do you call an olive that just got engaged? Olive-d!
Why did the olive quit his job? He was feeling unfulfilled.
How does an olive greet his friend? Olive there!
What do you call an olive that works as a chauffeur? An olive-r!
Why don’t olives play tennis? They don’t want to get bruised!
What do you call an olive that’s a really good dancer? An olive groover!
Why don’t olives go camping? They don’t want to get pitched!
What do you call an olive that works as a detective? An olive-gator!
How does an olive kill a vampire? With a stake through the pit!
Why was the olive tired when he got home from work? He was ex-olive-d!
What do you call an olive that does magic? An abra-calam-olive!
Why don’t olives ever interrupt? They’re afraid to olive-step!
Why was the olive sad? He felt de-pitless.
What did the olive say when he got cut in half? I’m in a bit of a pickle!
How does an olive keep his hair looking good? With olive oil!
What do you call an olive that works on Wall Street? A broccoli!
Why are olives the worst at keeping secrets? They always end up getting canned!
What do you call an olive that loves baseball? A curveball-ive!
Why don’t olives trust each other? There’s too much at steak!
What do you call an olive that works as a lifeguard? A baywatch-olive!
Why do olives make good detectives? They always get to the pit of the problem!
How does an olive fix his car? With motor olive!
Why did the olives get in a fight? They couldn’t olive and let olive!
What do you call an olive that loves to read? A bookolive!
Why don’t olives play hide and seek? They’re always easy to spot!
What do you call an olive that works as a pilot? A co-olive-t!
Why was the olive expelled from school? He was too much of a prankster olive!
What do you call an olive that works as a construction worker? A crane operator-olive!
Why don’t olives make good cowboys? They can’t lasso worth a darn!
How does an olive rock a baby to sleep? Olive-lullaby and goodnight!
What do you call an olive that works as a scientist? A test tub-olive!
Why don’t olives believe in ghosts? They think it’s a bunch of olive-wash!
What do you call an olive that works on a ship? A sailor olive!
Why was the olive arrested? He was charged with assault and batter-olive!
What do you call an olive who loves winter sports? An olive-mpian!
Why don’t olives go bald? They always use olive oil!
What do you call an olive that works as a plumber? A pipe-olive!
Why did the olives get kicked out of band class? They couldn’t keep the beet!
What do you call an olive that loves music? A groolive!
Why are olives so rarely late? They’re always punctu-olive!
What do you call an olive that can tell the future? A fortune tell-olive!
How does an olive travel through time? In a time mach-olive!
Why don’t olives make good comedians? Their jokes never get many laughs!
What do you call olives that stick together? Club olives!
How do olives pamper themselves? With an olive massage!
Why are olives so squishy? They don’t have a pit to stand on!
What’s an olive’s favorite mode of transportation? The olive bus!
Why do olives make good therapists? They’re great listeners!
What do you call an olive that works on cars? A mechanic olive!
How do olives stay connected? Through their mobile olives!
Why don’t olives watch horror movies? They get easily creeped out!
What’s an olive’s favorite hobby? Olive painting!
Why don’t olives go on rollercoasters? They’re scared of taking the plunge!
How does an olive rock their baby to sleep? Olive-lullaby and goodnight!
What’s an olive’s favorite Disney movie? Olive and the Tramp!
Why don’t olives play golf? They don’t want to get teed off!
How does an olive fix his tie? With an olive windsor!
Why don’t olives get brain freeze? They don’t have soft centers!
What do you call an olive that went to Harvard? An olive-league!
Why are olives so bad at gardening? They don’t have green thumbs!
How does an olive access the internet? Through the olive-net!
Why don’t olives typically win staring contests? They always blink!
What do you call an olive that loves horseback riding? An olive-erback rider!
Why don’t olives play tennis? The balls just go right through them!
What do you call an olive with good parental intuition? An olive-knowing mom!
Why did the olive get kicked out of the kitchen? He was loafing around!
How does an olive nap? Olive-zzz…
Why don’t olives wear socks? They think feet are gross!
What’s an olive’s favorite sport? Olive-ball!
Why did the olive cross the road? To get to the olive side!
How does an olive eat his steak? Olive à la carte!
Why don’t olives go skydiving? They’re afraid their pits will fly out!
What’s an olive’s favorite reality show? Keeping Up With the Olive-dashians!
Why are olives so bad at basketball? They have no dribble!
Why was the olive voted prom king? He was so pit-ular!
How does an olive stay in shape? Lots of pit-ness training!
Why did the olive think he could time travel? He was living in a fantasy olive-d!
What do you call an olive who loves music? A pit-arist!
Why are olives so short? They just didn’t grow enough!
What do you call an olive that works in PR? A marketing olive!
How does an olive access the internet? Through his olive branch network!
Why don’t olives wear high heels? They don’t have any feet!
What’s an olive’s favorite movie genre? Horror olives!
Why don’t olives play chess? It makes their heads spin!
What’s an olive’s favorite snack? Pit-chips!
Why did the olive get cut from the basketball team? Lack of skills and tall-olive!
How does an olive rock their baby to sleep? Olive-lullaby and goodnight!
Why don’t olives believe in ghosts? They think it’s a bunch of olive-wash!
Why don’t olives want to be famous? They don’t want the papa-olive-zzi chasing them!
What’s an olive’s favorite book genre? Olive-ographies!
Why don’t olives get brain freeze? They don’t have brains!
What do you call an olive that just got engaged? Olive-d!
Why don’t olives go camping? They don’t want to get pit-ched!
How does an olive fix his car? With motor olive!
Why do olives make good detectives? They always get to the pit of the problem!
What do you call an olive that went to Harvard? An olive-league!
Why don’t olives wear socks? They think feet are gross!
What’s an olive’s favorite snack? Pit-chips!
Why are olives so rarely late? They’re always punctu-olive!
How does an olive rock their baby to sleep? Olive-lullaby and goodnight!
Why don’t olives want to be famous? They don’t want the papa-olive-zzi chasing them!
Why did the olive think he could time travel? He was living in a fantasy olive-d!
I tried to start an olive appreciation club, but nobody came. It was a pit-iful turnout.
What do you call an olive on parole? A re-leased olive.
What do you call a group of olives arguing? A vinaigrette debate.
What do you call an olive that wins the lottery? O-live-rich!
What do you call a sad olive? De-pressed.
Why did the olive get arrested? Because he was pimento-ing theft!
What do you call a confused olive? Olive the situation.
What do you call an olive that’s good at math? An olive-culate!
What do you call an olive that loves to travel? A world olive-r.
What do you call an olive with a superiority complex? High-falutin’.
Olives are so smooth, they’re basically nature’s lube for martinis.
Eating olives is like playing dress-up for your taste buds. Fancy!
The only thing better than a dirty martini is a clean olive pit lodged in your ear. (Okay, maybe not!)
Olives are proof that good things come in small, salty packages.
If you think life gives you lemons, you haven’t met a stubborn olive jar.
Olives are like tiny, wrinkled brains that taste delicious. Don’t overthink it.
Beware the wrath of the hangry olive. They’ll steal your pizza toppings in a heartbeat.
I’m not sure what’s more impressive: the flavor of an olive or the pit’s ability to disappear into thin air.
Olives are the chameleons of the snack world. They go with everything, even your weird uncle’s fruitcake.
Life is good when you have a jar of olives, a good friend, and maybe a bottle of something strong.