Spider puns are a web of hilarity that’ll make you laugh and crawl with delight! These eight-legged arachnids may not be everyone’s favorite critters, but when it comes to puns, they certainly spin a good yarn. From “web-slinging” superheroes to their sticky situations, spider puns have the unique ability to weave humor into any context. Whether you’re a fan of punny humor or simply looking to add some creepy-crawly amusement to your day, this collection of spider puns is sure to tickle your funny bone. So, hang tight (or hang loose, like a spider on a thread), as we embark on a humorous journey through the world of these amazing arachnids and their web-tastic wordplay!
Funny Spider Puns
What do you call a spider that just got married? A newly-web!
Why was the spider excited on Halloween? It was going to the creepy crawly!
Why are spiders so smart? They can find everything on the web!
What do you call a spider who loves to read? A bookworm!
How does a spider communicate? Through the World Wide Web!
Why couldn’t the spider eat her dinner? Because it was all wrapped up in a web!
What do you call a spider that plays the guitar? A lead spider!
Why do spiders make such great spies? Because they have a web of connections!
What do you call a frozen spider? An icicle!
Why do spiders make good builders? Because they’re expert architects!
What do you call a spider that roams around space? An astro-knaut!
Why did the spider cross the road? To get to the other web!
What do you call a spider that doesn’t bite or spin webs? A spider-man!
What do you call a spider who loves to dance? Tapman!
What’s a spider’s favorite musical instrument? The web-ophone!
Why can’t you trust a spider chef? They might spice up your food with webbings!
What do you call a sad spider? A mopey tropey!
Why did the spider go to the computer? To check out the World Wide Web!
What did the spider say to the computer? You’re growing a nice set of webs!
Why was the little spider so happy? Because she had a hop in her step!
What happens to a spider in an interrogation room? It gets caught in a web of lies!
What do you call a spider that lives in a library? A bookworm!
Why are spiders considered pessimists? Because they always find the flies in the ointment!
What’s a spider’s favorite thing to do on the computer? Make website designs!
Why are spiders so good at video games? They’re web-savvy!
What did the spider say to the fly? Want to hang out together?
What do you call a spider that loves peanut butter? A webber nutter!
Why was the spider teacher so strict? She wanted her students to stick to the webwork!
What did the spider say to the fly? Come hang out in my parlor!
Why do spiders make the best spies? Because they’re experts at fly on the wall surveillance!
What did the spider do when he hurt his leg? He called a web-ulance!
Why was the spider hungry? He hadn’t caught a fly all day!
What did the spider say to the other spider? I love sharing this web with you!
Where do spiders search for information? On the World Wide Web!
What did the baby spider say to its mother? Will you tuck me in my web tonight?
Why are spiders so good at pitching tents? They’re expert web designers!
What do you call a spider that plays jazz? A swingaman!
Why was the spider fired from his job? He got caught up in a web of lies!
What do you call a spider who loves photography? A shutterbug!
What’s a spider’s favorite thing to do at a party? Fang out!
Why do spiders like old buildings? Because of all the cobwebs!
What do you call a helpful spider? A voluntary web worker!
Why didn’t the spider want a new web? He was happy with the status web!
What do you call a spider that robs banks? A webber!
What did the spider say to the other spider? I don’t want to bug you, but can we be friends?
Why was the spider teacher excited for art class? Her students were going to spin some webs!
What was the spider’s favorite subject in school? Web design!
Why did the spider bite the human? To see if humans taste as good as flies!
What did the spider say on Halloween? Trick or web!
Why was the spider hungry after Halloween? He had only gotten web-sized candy bars!
What did the spider bring to the potluck? The fly dip!
Where do spiders go on vacation? To spin webs in peace!
Hilarious Spider Jokes
Why did the spider go to the computer?
It wanted to check its web page!
How do spiders communicate online?
Through the World Wide Web!
What do you call a spider that just got married?
A newly-webbed!
What did the spider do on the computer?
It searched the web!
Why are spiders great at web design?
Because they have a lot of spinnerets!
What’s a spider’s favorite TV show?
The Web of Lies!
Why did the spider become a magician?
Because it wanted to learn the trick of disappearing!
What do you call a spider that can dance?
A jitterbug!
Why do spiders make terrible baseball players?
They can’t catch anything in their web!
How does a spider celebrate its birthday?
By throwing a web party!
What did the spider do when it lost its web?
It started from scratch!
Why did the spider get a job in construction?
Because it knew how to spin a good foundation!
How do you know if a spider is a baseball fan?
It’s always caught up in the web of the game!
What’s a spider’s favorite kind of music?
Anything with a good beat… or should I say, a good “web”!
What do you get when you cross a spider with an elephant?
A web page that never forgets!
How do you make a spider laugh?
Tell it a funny “spin”-terest!
Why did the spider take a vacation?
To relax and spin some yarns!
What’s a spider’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
The roller web-coaster!
What did the spider say to the fly at the computer?
“Surf’s up!”
Why did the spider become a teacher?
Because it’s great at spelling!
What do you call a spider that can sing?
A web singer!
How do you throw a spider off its game?
Take away its web address!
Why did the spider bring a ladder to the web?
Because it wanted to meet the new neighbors!
What’s a spider’s favorite social media platform?
Instagram – because it loves sharing web photos!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a detective?
A web-sleuth!
What do you call a spider that’s a great dancer?
A tap-arachnid!
Why did the spider get a job as a photographer?
Because it knew how to capture the perfect web moment!
What do you call a spider with no friends?
A loner-pede!
Why did the spider become an astronaut?
Because it wanted to explore the web of the universe!
What’s a spider’s favorite game to play at parties?
Spin the bottle!
Why did the spider go to therapy?
It had too many tangled emotions!
How does a spider check its weight?
It uses a web scale!
What do you call a spider that can play the guitar?
A rock ‘n’ web musician!
How does a spider make important decisions?
It “web-s” it out!
What do you call a spider with a sense of humor?
A giggly-arachnid!
Why did the spider break up with its girlfriend?
She got caught in a web of lies!
What did the spider say to the flea?
“Stop bugging me!”
What’s a spider’s favorite Disney movie?
The Web and the Hound!
How do you invite a spider to a party?
Send it a “web” invitation!
What do you call a spider that loves math?
A geometry spinner!
Why did the spider get a ticket?
Because it was caught in a “web” of traffic!
What do you call a spider with no manners?
A bad “web” site!
Why did the spider become a chef?
Because it was great at making cobweb soup!
How do spiders communicate during a meeting?
They have a web conference!
What do you call a spider that can play basketball?
A jump shot!
How do you stop a spider from biting you?
Step on its web scale!
What do you call a spider that’s good at math?
A web-calculator!
What’s a spider’s favorite fruit?
A blackberry… because it’s full of web content!
Why did the spider join a band?
Because it wanted to spin some tunes!
What’s a spider’s favorite type of dance?
The Charleston… because it involves lots of spinning!
What do you call a spider’s favorite TV channel?
The Web History Channel!
Why did the spider go to school?
To improve its web development skills!
How does a spider fix a broken web?
With a cobweb repairman!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a computer?
A website designer!
Why did the spider become a gardener?
Because it loved working with web plants!
What’s a spider’s favorite type of pasta?
Spaghetti – because it’s all about those web-like strands!
What do you call a spider that likes to bowl?
A strike-arachnid!
Why did the spider bring a backpack to the web?
Because it wanted to catch some “fly” fish!
What’s a spider’s favorite game show?
“The Price is Right in the Web!”
Why do spiders make terrible stand-up comedians?
Because they always get caught in their own webs of jokes!
Funny One Liners on Spider
Why did the spider cross the road? To get to the other eight.
What do you call a spider that’s always late? A tardigrade.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble? A web of trouble.
Why did the spider get a job as a DJ? To spin some web tunes.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting lost? A web-stray.
Why did the spider join the circus? To be a web-slinger.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into fights? A web-head.
Why did the spider get a degree in engineering? To build a better web trap.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with the law? A web of crime.
Why did the spider cross the road? To get to the other web side.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into arguments? A web-of-words.
Why did the spider get a job as a waiter? To serve web-getables.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with the IRS? A web-payer.
Why did the spider join the army? To be a web-footed soldier.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his wife? A web-cracker.
Why did the spider get a job as a lawyer? To sue for his web.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his boss? A web-head.
Why did the spider join the circus? To be a web-of-whimsy.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with the kids? A web of chaos.
Why did the spider get a job as a doctor? To treat his web allergies.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with the police? A web of crime.
Why did the spider join the navy? To be a web-footed diver.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his neighbors? A web of lies.
Why did the spider get a job as a teacher? To teach his students about webs.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his friends? A web of misunderstandings.
Why did the spider join the fire department? To put out web fires.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his family? A web of dysfunction.
Why did the spider get a job as a pilot? To fly his webs to safety.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble with his pet? A web of deceit.
Why did the spider join the army? To be a web of war.