Bagel puns are like the doughy delights themselves – irresistibly funny and utterly satisfying! These humor-filled wordplays take the everyday breakfast staple and turn it into a source of endless amusement. Whether it’s the classic “hole” jokes, witty quips about cream cheese relationships, or playful references to bagels living their best “roll” model lives, bagel puns have a way of adding a sprinkle of laughter to your day. So, get ready to indulge in a smorgasbord of laughter as we explore the world of hilarious bagel puns that are sure to leave you craving for more. Whether you’re a devoted bagel enthusiast or simply a fan of clever wordplay, these puns are here to toast your sense of humor!
Funny Bagel Puns
I knead to tell you about these bagel puns, they’ll have you in stitches!
What do you call a psychic little bagel? A mini mystic!
Why did the bagel go to sleep? It was feeling crummy!
How did the bagel feel crossing the street? Nervous, it was trafficked!
What did the bagel say when it got stressed out? I’m in a jam!
Why are bagels the most charitable baked goods? They’re always raising dough!
What do you call a bagel that works on Wall Street? A broker!
Why can’t bagels play tennis? They have zero backhand!
Why was the everything bagel angry? It was covered in poppy seeds!
What did the bagel say to the slice of bread? I’ve got you covered!
How does a bagel communicate? On ciabatta network!
I saw a bagel today, it was on a roll!
What do you call a frozen bagel? A brrrrgle!
Why did the bagel quit his job? He was fed up with the daily grind!
How does a bagel try to make money fast? He starts a yeast fund!
What do you call a sad looking boiled bagel? A mopen bagel!
Why are bagels the most athletic breakfast? They exercise every morning!
What did the bagel say when it was full of electricity? I’m so amped!
Why do bagels always win at chess? They’re on a roll!
What’s a bagel’s favorite ZZ Top song? “Bagel Legged Woman”!
Why did the bagel blush? It saw the cream cheese spread!
Why couldn’t the bagel trust his best friend? He was a little shady!
What do you call a clumsy bagel? A falafel!
Why did the bagel wear headphones? He didn’t want to deal with any outside noise!
What did the everything bagel say to the poppy seed bagel? Don’t get salty with me!
Why do bagels make great astronomers? They love studying the cream cheese galaxy!
What do you call a bagel that’s a really good dancer? A cha-cha bagel!
Why don’t bagels ever come late? They like to rise and shine!
What did the bagel say to his sweetheart? You’re the hole in my heart!
Why did the bagel blush when he saw his crush? He was baking with love!
What did one bagel say to the other while toasting? I’m getting so burnt out!
Why can’t you trust a bagel? It’ll bagel bite you when you least expect it!
Why did the bagel go to therapy? He had some self-loathing issues!
What did one bagel say to the crying bagel? Stop crumbing!
Why don’t bagels make good cops? They have too many holes in their stories!
What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese!
What did the bagel order at the restaurant? Creme brulead!
Why do bagels make great scientists? They love experimenting!
What did the bagel say to his date? You look gouda tonight!
Hilarious Bagel Jokes
Why did the bagel go to therapy? It had too many “hole” lot of issues.
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Poppy tunes!
How do you fix a broken bagel? With a “dough”-ctor!
Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? It felt too “spread” out.
What do you call a bagel that can play the piano? A “bagel-sonata”!
Why did the bagel apply for a job? It wanted to get a little more “dough.”
What did the bagel say when it was complimented? “You’re the ‘hole’ package!”
How do you make a bagel smile? Tell it a “dough-lightful” joke.
Why did the bagel blush? Because it saw the toaster oven!
What do you call a bagel that can dance? A “twirl-and-swirl” bagel.
What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? “Dough”nutball!
How do bagels stay cool? They use “bagel-ration.”
What did the bagel say to the bread? “You’re toast, my friend!”
What do you call a bagel that’s been cursed? A “hex”-bagel.
Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always have their “inner circle.”
What did one bagel say to the other at the bakery? “You’re so ‘dough-lightful!'”
What’s a bagel’s favorite movie genre? Sci-“bagel”-fi.
How do you make a bagel stop rolling? “Lock” it in place.
What do you call a bagel who’s a fashionista? A “dough-vogue.”
Why was the bagel always calm? Because it had “loaf” of patience.
What did the bagel say when it proposed? “I’m ‘knead’ you in my life!”
What’s a bagel’s favorite day of the week? “Fry”-day!
Why did the bagel go to the gym? To get a little “roll” model.
What do you call a bagel’s autobiography? “The Hole Truth.”
What’s a bagel’s favorite board game? “Dough-minoes.”
How do bagels pay for things? With “dough”-nations.
Why did the bagel bring a ladder to the bakery? It wanted to get to the “upper crust.”
What did the bagel do when it won the lottery? It became a “roll”ing in dough!
Why was the bagel always invited to parties? Because it had a great “spread.”
What do you call a bagel with a sense of humor? A “witty-dough.”
Why did the bagel break up with the donut? It found someone “hole”-ier.
How do you know if a bagel is lying? It’s all “doughs” and no “truths.”
What’s a bagel’s favorite place to relax? On the “couch” with cream cheese.
Why did the bagel refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting “folded.”
What do you call a bagel that’s a computer whiz? A “byte”-gel.
How does a bagel apologize? It says, “I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to be so ‘crumby.'”
What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? The “breadmill.”
Why did the bagel bring a backpack to the bakery? It wanted to take some “bagel-age.”
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of dance? The “dough”-si-do.
Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit “stale.”
What do you call a bagel that’s a detective? A “sleuth-bagel.”
How do bagels stay in shape? They do “gluten-free” workouts.
Why did the bagel get a promotion? Because it was a “roll” model at work!
What did one bagel say to the other during an argument? “Let’s not get too ‘bready’ about this.”
Why did the bagel bring an umbrella to the bakery? It heard it was going to be a little “flaky” outside.
What do you call a bagel that’s a famous actor? A “dough-starring” bagel.
Why did the bagel bring a map to the bakery? It didn’t want to get “lost.”
What’s a bagel’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Flour-tune.”
How do you make a bagel laugh on a Monday morning? Tell it a “yeast infection” joke.
What did the bagel say to the baguette? “You’re so French-ting!”
Why did the bagel start a band? Because it wanted to be “dough-cumented” in history.
What’s a bagel’s favorite type of book? A “roll”-ercoaster thriller!
Why did the bagel bring a snorkel to the bakery? It heard it was going to be “dough-p.”
What do you call a bagel that’s good at math? An “al-ge-bra-gel.”
How do bagels stay warm in winter? They wear “dough-vercoats.”
Funny One Liners on Bagel
hat do you call a bagel that’s always late? A procrastinator.
What do you call a bagel that’s always happy? A glazer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always sad? A shmear.
What do you call a bagel that’s always angry? A pumpernickel.
What do you call a bagel that’s always lost? A rye.
What do you call a bagel that’s always on time? A punctual.
What do you call a bagel that’s always telling jokes? A punny.
What do you call a bagel that’s always singing? A bagel-oo.
What do you call a bagel that’s always dancing? A bagel-o.
What do you call a bagel that’s always working out? A bagel-er.
What do you call a bagel that’s always sleeping? A bagel-z.
What do you call a bagel that’s always studying? A bagel-nerd.
What do you call a bagel that’s always playing video games? A bagel-gamer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always eating? A bagel-holic.
What do you call a bagel that’s always traveling? A bagel-packer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always writing? A bagel-author.
What do you call a bagel that’s always painting? A bagel-artist.
What do you call a bagel that’s always singing? A bagel-singer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always dancing? A bagel-dancer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always working out? A bagel-athlete.
What do you call a bagel that’s always sleeping? A bagel-lazybones.
What do you call a bagel that’s always studying? A bagel-nerd.
What do you call a bagel that’s always playing video games? A bagel-gamer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always eating? A bagel-foodie.
What do you call a bagel that’s always traveling? A bagel-wanderer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always writing? A bagel-scribbler.
What do you call a bagel that’s always painting? A bagel-dauber.
What do you call a bagel that’s always singing? A bagel-crooner.
What do you call a bagel that’s always dancing? A bagel-twister.
What do you call a bagel that’s always working out? A bagel-flexer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always sleeping? A bagel-snoozer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always studying? A bagel-bookworm.
What do you call a bagel that’s always playing video games? A bagel-gamer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always eating? A bagel-muncher.
What do you call a bagel that’s always traveling? A bagel-explorer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always writing? A bagel-quill.
What do you call a bagel that’s always painting? A bagel-palette.
What do you call a bagel that’s always singing? A bagel-mic.
What do you call a bagel that’s always dancing? A bagel-groove.
What do you call a bagel that’s always working out? A bagel-fit.
What do you call a bagel that’s always sleeping? A bagel-zzzz.
What do you call a bagel that’s always studying? A bagel-nerd.
What do you call a bagel that’s always playing video games? A bagel-gamer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always eating? A bagel-foodie.
What do you call a bagel that’s always traveling? A bagel-explorer.
What do you call a bagel that’s always writing? A bagel-quill.
What do you call a bagel that’s always painting? A bagel-palette.
What do you call a bagel that’s always singing? A bagel-mic.
What do you call a bagel that’s always dancing? A bagel-groove.
What do you call a bagel that’s always working out? A bagel-fit.