Watermelons are not just delicious summer treats – they are also the perfect fruit for spurring creative and hilarious puns. With their green rinds, juicy red interiors full of seeds, and associations with summertime fun, watermelons lend themselves to all sorts of funny wordplay. Punning on “melon” and “meloncholy” or rhyming it with “cantaloupe” is a classic way to squeeze laughter from this fruit.
The phrase “watermelon jokes” may bring to mind corny jokes told by kids, but wordplay masters can craft watermelon puns that will leave the whole family grinning melon to melon. Whether it’s a quip about a watermelon’s love life or musings from a wannabe watermelon comedian, punny riddles tickle the funny bone. In the hands of clever punsters, the humble watermelon becomes comic gold. This summer, beat the heat with the cool refreshment of watermelon puns that will ensure endless laughs.
Funny Watermelon Puns
Water you doing today?
I’m one in a melon!
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a million!
You’re one cool slice!
Melon-choly.
This melon is a-peeling.
It’s time to melon out!
I’m feeling pretty melon-choly today.
Watermelon jokes are berry funny!
Don’t be a sourpuss; have some watermelon.
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Let’s get juicy!
I’m just trying to stay melon-choly.
Life’s a slice; enjoy it.
I’ve got a melon on my mind.
You’re the pulp of my eye.
I’ve been melon-dramatic lately.
You’re so sweet, you’re the pulp in my life.
I’m one tough melon!
I’m having a rind-tastic day.
Seed your way into my heart.
Don’t be a melon-cholic, be a watermelon-cholic!
You’re un-melon-dramatic.
You’re the juiciest friend I’ve got.
Life is just a bowl of watermelon.
The more, the melon-ier!
When life gives you watermelons, make watermelon-ade.
Don’t make a big rind over small seeds.
That’s a-melon-nother story!
Watermelon is the king of fruits, bow down to the melonarchy!
Be a watermelon in a world of apples.
Sweet dreams are made of these: watermelon slices!
Let’s make a toast with watermelon juice!
Watermelon: the original thirst quencher.
It’s time to melon-ate your taste buds!
I’m just a-melon-ting for your call.
Don’t be so melon-choly; life’s sweet!
I’ve got a melon-dramatic life story.
You’re one in a melon, that’s for sure!
You’re a-melon-zing!
I’m ready to take a watermelon nap.
Let’s not rind around the bush.
I’m here to melon-vate your day!
Water you waiting for? Dive into some watermelon!
Love at first bite: a watermelon romance.
I’m not a-melon-choly; I’m a-melon-dramatic!
You’re a slice above the rest.
It’s a-melon-dating to meet you!
I’m on a roll; it’s a watermelon roll!
You’re the juiciest thing in my life.
I’m in a melon state of mind.
This situation is un-rind-able!
You’re my melon-ted love.
Don’t be a melon-cholic, be a rind-tastic!
I’m feeling so melon-choly without you.
I’m on a roll; it’s a watermelon roll!
You’re one in a melon!
I’ve got a melon on my mind.
Let’s make today un-rind-sistible!
I’m so a-peeling, I can’t elope.
Let’s turnip the beet with some watermelon!
You’re one juicy piece of fruit.
I’m in a melon state of mind.
Watermelon is berry refreshing.
You’re one cool slice!
I’m having a rind-tastic day.
I’m feeling pretty melon-choly today.
You’re the pulp of my eye.
Life’s a slice; enjoy it.
I’ve been melon-dramatic lately.
You’re so sweet, you’re the pulp in my life.
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Hilarious Watermelon Jokes
What do you call a watermelon that got married? A wed melon!
Why was the watermelon invited to the party? Because it was acool guy!
What did the watermelon say when it got stepped on? Oh no, I’ve been melonated!
Why did the watermelon have to go to the hospital? Because it wasn’t peelin’ well!
What do you get if you cross a watermelon with a skunk? A smelleon!
Why did the watermelon blush? It saw the cantaloupe naked!
What do you call a watermelon from outerspace? A mars-melon!
How does a watermelon phone home? On a water-melon!
Why did the watermelon wear suspenders? To hold up his pants!
What did one watermelon say to the other while dancing? You’re one in a melon!
How do watermelons communicate? They watermelon-icate!
Why did the watermelon cross the road? To get to the melon patch on the other side!
What do you get when you cross a watermelon with a lemon? A melon that squirts you in the eye when you eat it!
How does a watermelon know what you’re saying? It watermeloneates!
Why are watermelons so easy going? They’re never meloncholy!
What’s a watermelon’s favorite Beatle? Paul McMelonney!
What do you call a sad watermelon? A blue melon!
Why was the baby watermelon crying? It lost its mama melon!
How does a watermelon play hide and seek? It watermelons in the bushes!
What happened to the watermelon that fell off the truck? It got meloncholy!
Why was the watermelon mad at its friend? He kept melon-hogging the conversation!
How do you fix a cracked watermelon? With a watermelon patch!
What do you get if you cross a watermelon with a boomerang? A fruit that hits you on the head as you eat it!
Why did the watermelon wear a disguise? He didn’t want anyone to recog-melon him!
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You look very a-meloning today!
Why did the watermelon get married in the summer? Because it was the season to be melony!
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What do you call a watermelon that tells jokes? A funnymelon!
Why couldn’t the watermelon go to the party? Because it wasn’t melonvited!
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
What do you call a watermelon that’s a wannabe comedian? An amateur melon!
Why don’t watermelons tell secrets? Because they’re terrible at keeping them inseed!
Why did the watermelon blush? It saw the cantaloupe naked!
What do you call a sad watermelon? A melanceholy!
Why did the watermelon cross the road? To get to the melon patch on the other side!
What do you call two watermelons that are in love? Melonly!
Where do watermelons go for fun? The melonball room!
How does a watermelon ask another watermelon to prom? “Would melon go to prom with me?”
Why can’t you trust watermelons? Because they have seeds of deception!
Why was the baby watermelon crying? It was having a meloncholy day.
How did the watermelon propose to his girlfriend? With a melonary ring!
What do you call a watermelon who works out a lot? A muskmelon!
Why do watermelons make good spies? Because they’re so easy to seed through!
What do you call a watermelon that likes to sing? A melondy!
Why was the watermelon kicked out of the restaurant? It kept spitting seeds!
What’s a watermelon’s favorite dessert? Melonberry pie!
Why did the watermelon go to summer school? To get better grades!
What do you call two watermelons that hang out together? Melonfriends!
How does a watermelon stay healthy? By eating meloncholy!
Why did the watermelon blush? Because it saw the honeydew naked!
What do you call a lazy watermelon? A watermellon’t!
Why couldn’t the watermelon concentrate in class? It was too seedstracted!
Why did the watermelon cross the ocean? To get to the melonland!
What did the watermelon say when it bumped into another melon? “Excuse melony!”
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they’d crack each other up!
Why can’t you take watermelons to the movies? They always spit seeds!
What’s a watermelon’s favorite song? “Sweet Melonade of Life”
Why was the baby watermelon so squishy? It was newly-melon!
What do you call a watermelon party? A melonbash!
Why was the watermelon upset? It was feeling meloncholy.
How does a watermelon spy on someone? Through a melonocular!
What do you call a watermelon from outer space? A melonalien!
Why did the watermelon wear suspenders? To hold up his pants!
What do you call two watermelons in love? Melonmates!
Why was the spoiled watermelon upset? It didn’t get everything it melonted!
What do you call a watermelon psychic? A melonmedium!
Why did the watermelon blush? It saw the honeydew’s butt and got em-bare-assed!
What do you call a lazy baby watermelon? A watermellon’t!
Why do watermelons make the best spies? They’re easy to seed through!
What’s green and bumpy and tells bad jokes? A corny watermelon!
How does a watermelon ask for a kiss? “Give me some sugar, melon!”
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
Why don’t watermelons play tennis? They can’t stand the racket!
Why did the baby watermelon wear a diaper? In case it spit any seeds!
What did the green grape say to the watermelon? “Brace yourself, seedcoming!”
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
What did one melon say to the other when he proposed? “Yes, I melon you!”
How does a watermelon spy on someone? Through a melonocle!
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Funny One Liners on Watermelon
What do you call a watermelon that’s always late? A watermelon tardy.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always in a hurry? A water-melon-choly.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always telling jokes? A water-mellon-joked.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always singing? A water-mellon-ade.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always dancing? A water-melon-go.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always sleeping? A water-mellon-snooze.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always studying? A water-mellon-nerd.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always working out? A water-mellon-athlete.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always traveling? A water-mellon-jetsetter.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always in love? A water-mellon-heartbreaker.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always getting into trouble? A water-mellon-bad boy/girl.
I’m so addicted to watermelons, I’m thinking about joining a seed group.
What do you call a watermelon that’s a cross between a watermelon and a tomato? A water-tomato.
What do you call a watermelon that’s a cross between a watermelon and a pumpkin? A water-pumpkin.
What do you call a watermelon that’s a cross between a watermelon and a banana? A water-nana.
I’m not sure what’s more refreshing, biting into a cold watermelon on a hot summer day, or hearing a bad watermelon joke.
I’m so bad at telling watermelon jokes, I make myself laugh.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always telling bad jokes? A water-melon-corny.
I’m thinking about writing a book of watermelon jokes. It’ll be called “Watermelon Puns: A Smashing Hit!”
Why did the watermelon go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling seedy.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always getting into fights? A water-mellon-brawler.
I’m so addicted to watermelons, I’m starting to look like one.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to get ahead? A water-melon-ambitious.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to get out of work? A water-melon-slacker.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to save money? A water-melon-frugal.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be popular? A water-melon-socialite.
I’m so bad at telling watermelon jokes, I’m thinking about going back to school.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always getting into trouble? A water-melon-delinquient.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be cool? A water-melon-hip.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be funny? A water-melon-comedian.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be helpful? A water-melon-altruist.
I’m so addicted to watermelons, I’m thinking about getting a watermelon tattoo.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be the best? A water-melon-perfectionist.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be creative? A water-melon-artist.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be different? A water-melon-individualist.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always trying to be kind? A water-melon-philanthropist.
Watermelon is the only fruit that can make you feel like you’re eating a dinosaur egg.
I’m so addicted to watermelon, I’m starting to think I’m a watermelon.
Watermelon is like a summer vacation in your mouth.
What do you call a watermelon that’s always on time? A watermellon.
Why did the watermelon cross the road? To get to the other rind.
What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don’t eat watermelon seed by the pound.
What do you call a watermelon with a bad attitude? A water-meltdown.
Why did the watermelon go to the doctor? He wasn’t feeling seedy.
What do you call a watermelon that’s been in the sun too long? A water-baked.
What do you call a watermelon that’s been in the fridge too long? A water-frozen.
What do you call a watermelon that’s been in the microwave too long? A water-melted.
What do you call a watermelon that’s been in the oven too long? A water-burned.
What do you call a watermelon that’s been in the blender too long? A smoothie.
I’m so excited for summer, I can almost taste the watermelon juice dripping down my chin.
I love watermelon so much, I’m thinking about getting a watermelon tattoo. But I’m not sure where to put it. Maybe on my butt? So it can be my watermelon moon.
Watermelon is the perfect summer snack. It’s refreshing, delicious, and healthy. And it’s also a great way to stay hydrated.
I’m not sure what’s better: watermelon itself, or watermelon candy. They’re both so good!
I’m starting a new watermelon-based religion. We’ll call it Watermelonship. And our motto will be: “Watermelon is the way, the truth, and the life.”
I’m so obsessed with watermelon, I’m thinking about writing a song about it. It’ll be called “Watermelon Lover.”
I’m also thinking about writing a book about watermelon. It’ll be called “The Watermelon Bible.”
I’m pretty sure that watermelon is the best fruit in the world. I mean, what other fruit is so refreshing, delicious, and healthy?
I’m thinking about starting a watermelon farm. So I can have all the watermelon I want, whenever I want.
I’m also thinking about starting a watermelon delivery service. So I can deliver fresh watermelon to people’s doorsteps.
I’m pretty sure that watermelon is the best food in the world. I mean, what other food is so refreshing, delicious, and healthy?
I’m thinking about starting a watermelon cult. So we can all worship watermelon together.
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