Looking for a gourd time? Let’s squash those serious vibes and dive into a patch of pumpkin puns that’ll have you howling with laughter faster than you can say “Jack-o-lantern!” Whether you’re a pun-kin aficionado or just getting your feet wet in the pumpkin patch, these jokes are sure to make you crack a smile wider than a carved pumpkin’s grin. From pumpkin spice lattes brewing up trouble to pumpkins finding themselves in a jam, these puns are ripe for the picking! So, gather ’round the pumpkin patch, folks, and prepare to be entertained by these rib-tickling, side-splitting pumpkin puns that are a real treat, no tricks involved!
Funny Pumpkin Puns
Why did the pumpkin sit on the porch?
Because it wanted to be a jack-o’-lantern model!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
Squash!
What do you call a pumpkin that plays music?
A jammin’ pumpkin!
Why was the pumpkin afraid to cross the road?
It heard there was a squash on the other side!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?
Pulp Fiction!
How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Squash!
Why did the pumpkin break up with his girlfriend?
She was too gourd for him!
What do you call a pumpkin who’s a sore loser?
A pumpkin crybaby!
How do pumpkins listen to music?
They use their gourdphones!
Why did the pumpkin go to school?
To become a little more well-rounded!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s overly confident?
Pumpk-inflated!
Why was the pumpkin coach a great leader?
Because it knew how to squash the competition!
What did the pumpkin say when it had to wait in line?
“This is really getting my seeds in a bunch!”
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Why was the pumpkin nervous?
It was going to a squash match!
How does a pumpkin leave the hospital?
Cured!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road twice?
Because it wanted to squash any doubts about its bravery!
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin pie?
“You complete me!”
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
It wasn’t feeling well and wanted to get to the root of the problem!
Why did the pumpkin go to the party?
Because it was gourd-geous!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s good at math?
A pumpkin pi!
What do you call a pumpkin comedian?
A pun-kin!
How does a pumpkin like its coffee?
With pumpkin spice and everything nice!
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi!
Why did the pumpkin go to outer space?
To visit the pumpkin-moon!
How does a pumpkin stay in shape?
By doing squash exercises!
Why was the pumpkin afraid to fight?
It didn’t want to end up getting squashed!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite dessert?
Pumpkin pie in the sky!
What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver?
“Cut it out!”
Why was the pumpkin so good at storytelling?
It had a lot of gourd-geous tales to tell!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite dance?
The squash-hop!
How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What do you call a pumpkin that loves to garden?
A plant-kin!
Why was the pumpkin so sad?
It missed the pumpkin patch!
How do you make a pumpkin giggle?
Tickle its seeds!
What do you call a pumpkin who’s a great singer?
A croonkin!
Why did the pumpkin refuse to fight?
It was a pacifist, not a squash-ist!
What did the pumpkin say to the ghost?
“You’re boo-tiful!”
How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite part of Thanksgiving?
Pumpkin pie-cing it all together!
Why was the pumpkin a good listener?
Because it had a gourd ear!
What do you call a pumpkin who’s a fashionista?
A haute-gourd-ture model!
Why did the pumpkin go to school?
To get a little more well-rounded!
What did the pumpkin coach say to its team?
“Let’s squash the competition!”
Why did the pumpkin go to the Halloween party alone?
Because it had no body to go with!
How did the pumpkin get so big?
It had a squash and grow strategy!
Why did the pumpkin break up with its girlfriend?
She was too gourd-geous for it to handle!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite hobby?
Squashboarding!
Why was the pumpkin coach popular?
Because it knew how to squash the competition!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s lost weight?
A slimkin!
Why was the pumpkin embarrassed?
It saw a horror film and got a little squashful!
What did the pumpkin say when it won the race?
“I’m the reigning gourd champion!”
How does a pumpkin celebrate Halloween?
By gourd-ning around in costumes!
Why did the pumpkin go to therapy?
It had too many squash-ed emotions!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite breakfast cereal?
Cheerio-kini!
Why did the pumpkin go to school?
To be a little more well-rounded!
Must Check Out: – Funny Berry Puns
How do you mend a broken pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s scared of everything?
A fraidycat-kin!
Why was the pumpkin upset?
It got turned into a pumpkin pie without its consent!
How does a pumpkin style its hair?
With pumpkin seeds gel!
Why did the pumpkin sit in the corner during the math test?
It was a little too squared!
What do you call a pumpkin’s memoir?
The Life and Times of a Gourd-geous Pumpkin!
Why did the pumpkin take up meditation?
It wanted to find its inner squash-ity!
What do you call a pumpkin who’s a lawyer?
A squashbuckler!
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
It had a case of pumpkin-itis!
How does a pumpkin tell time?
With a pumpkin patch!
Why did the pumpkin break up with the carrot?
It felt too root-ed in its ways!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of music?
Hip-hop-gourd!
Why did the pumpkin go to the baseball game?
To root for the home squash!
How do you carve a pumpkin underwater?
With a gourd-geous scuba knife!
What do you call a pumpkin that likes to travel?
A globe-trotter!
Why did the pumpkin turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
How does a pumpkin say goodbye?
“Squash you later!”
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite TV show?
The Great Gourd-ian Bake Off!
Why was the pumpkin always calm?
Because it had a gourd-geous outlook on life!
What do you call a pumpkin that loves to exercise?
A squash-buff!
Why did the pumpkin go to school early?
To get a head start on becoming a well-rounded individual!
How does a pumpkin clean its house?
With a gourd mop!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a picky eater?
A seed-eater!
Why did the pumpkin turn off the light?
It was trying to save its gourd-ian energy!
How does a pumpkin flirt?
With smooth gourd lines!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a bad driver?
Squash-ful!
Why did the pumpkin bring a ladder to the party?
It heard the drinks were on the top shelf!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
Sqaush the Gourd!
Why was the pumpkin so stressed?
It had a lot of pumpkin seeds to plant!
How does a pumpkin get through a tough day?
With a little gourdian resilience!
What did the pumpkin say to the chef?
“Don’t squash my dreams!”
Why did the pumpkin blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
How does a pumpkin write a love letter?
With lots of squashy feelings!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a good dancer?
A pumpkin shaker!
Why did the pumpkin join the band?
Because it had a great gourd-ian voice!
How does a pumpkin like its eggs?
Gourd-boiled!
What did the pumpkin say to the other pumpkin at the party?
“You’re the pick of the patch!”
Why did the pumpkin go to the dentist?
It had a cavity that needed filling!
How does a pumpkin make decisions?
It follows its gourd!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite subject in school?
Gourd-ography!
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Why did the pumpkin call off the wedding?
It realized it wasn’t ready for such a gourd commitment!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite exercise?
Squash-ercise!
Why did the pumpkin go to the beach?
To get a little gourd-tan!
How does a pumpkin make friends?
By being gourd-natured!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road?
To get to the pumpkin patch on the other side!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite kind of music?
Gourd rock!
Why was the pumpkin so confident?
Because it had a lot of gourd-geous curves!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s been promoted?
A high-ranker!
Why did the pumpkin refuse to fight?
It was a lover, not a fighter!
What did the pumpkin say to the gardener?
“Stop squash-ing my dreams!”
How does a pumpkin ask someone on a date?
“Wanna squash some time together?”
Why was the pumpkin farmer so successful?
He had a lot of squash-cial skills!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s always late?
A procrastikin!
Why was the pumpkin always in trouble?
It kept getting itself into a gourd-ian knot!
How does a pumpkin stay cool in the summer?
It hangs out in the shade of its own gourd-en!
What did the pumpkin say to the candle?
“You light up my gourd!”
Why did the pumpkin go to the gym?
It wanted to be a little more well-rounded!
How does a pumpkin make friends?
By being gourd-natured!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite game?
Gourd games!
Why did the pumpkin break up with the watermelon?
It was tired of the seeds!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a drama queen?
A gourdzilla!
How does a pumpkin answer the phone?
“Gourd morning!”
Why did the pumpkin sit in the sun?
It wanted to get a little gourd-geous!
How does a pumpkin apologize?
With a squashy hug!
Why did the pumpkin go to school?
It wanted to be the head of the gourd-en club!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s really good at math?
A stem-cellent mathematician!
How does a pumpkin express excitement?
“I’m gourd to see you!”
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite time of year?
Harvest time, of gourd!
Why did the pumpkin go to the art museum?
It wanted to brush up on its gourd-tistry!
How does a pumpkin win an argument?
With squash and diplomacy!
Why did the pumpkin go to the Halloween party alone?
Because it couldn’t find a gourd-geous date!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s a neat freak?
A tidy-gourd!
How does a pumpkin relax?
With some gourd-ian chants!
Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?
It had a bad case of gourd-itis!
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Hilarious Jokes on Pumpkin
What do you call a pumpkin that tells scary stories? A jack-o’-lantern!
Why couldn’t the pumpkin get on Noah’s Ark? Because it only had two gourds!
What type of pumpkin makes the best pie? A pump-kin pie!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash!
Where do baby pumpkins play? The pumpkin patch!
Why did the pumpkin get in trouble at school? It was acting up in class!
What do you call a pumpkin that walks all by itself? An independ-kin!
Why couldn’t Cinderella turn the pumpkin into a carriage? She didn’t have the guts!
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What did the pumpkin say to the other pumpkin on Valentine’s Day? I yam what I yam!
Why was the jack-o-lantern embarrassed? It saw its seeds!
How did the pumpkin get to the dance party? It took the gourd bus!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of music? Punk-in rock!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite dessert? Pumpkin pie!
Where do pumpkins go on vacation? Pump-kin Island!
What’s the difference between a naughty pumpkin and a good pumpkin? Their seeds!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? To get to the other side!
What did one pumpkin say to the other? Let’s squash this beef!
How do pumpkins communicate? With pumpkin seeds (pumpkin seeds)
What’s the best way to contact a pumpkin? Give it a yell-o!
Why did the pumpkin blush? It saw the salad dressing!
What do you call two pumpkin pilots? The pumpkin corps!
How do pumpkins get in shape? They do crunches and push their seeds!
Why was the pumpkin late to work? It got stuck in a traffic gourd!
Why couldn’t the pumpkin finish the race? It ran out of juice!
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What’s a pumpkin’s favorite candy? Jelly beans!
How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a shark? Pumpkin teeth!
Why did the pumpkin go to the dance alone? It couldn’t find a date!
What’s the most famous pumpkin in history? Punkin’ Abe Lincoln!
Why don’t pumpkins make good magicians? They can’t pull rabbits out of their hats!
How did the pumpkin know what time it was? It looked at its wrist-gourd!
What did the pumpkin say during the scary movie? “I want my mummy!”
Why are pumpkins so rarely in shape? All they do is sit around!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite workout? Squash lifts!
How do you know if a pumpkin is mad at you? It’ll give you the cold shoulder!
Why was the pumpkin invited to all the Halloween parties? It was pop-u-lar!
Why do pumpkins always win at Splash Mountain? They’re great at pumpkin rolls!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite TV show? The Squash Games!
How do you know when a pumpkin is ready to carve? When it’s gutting a feeling!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It was stuck in a traffic jam!
What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite food? Squash!
Why do pumpkins make great spies? They’re great at blend-kin in!
What happens when a pumpkin gets in a car crash? It ends up in a pumpkin smash!
Why did the two pumpkins stop being friends? They couldn’t squash their differences!
How does a pumpkin become popular? It makes a lot of influ-kin-cers!
What do you call a nervous pumpkin? Anxious squ-ash!
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite mode of transportation? A pickup gourd!
Why are pumpkins never lonely? They’re always surrounded by their vines!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Pump-Kin’ Me Up”
How did the pumpkin know what time to leave the party? It looked at its wrist-gourd!
What do you call a pumpkin who solves mysteries? Sherlock Squash!
Why are pumpkins always so healthy? They eat lots of Beta Carrot-ene!
How do pumpkins stay in shape? They do crunches and push their seeds!
What do you call a psychic pumpkin? A fortune tell-a-kin!
Why was the pumpkin pelted with trash after its speech? It made some rotten points!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite TV network? The Squash Broadcasting System!
How do pumpkins communicate under water? With gourd morse code!
What do you call a pumpkin that went to Harvard? A scholar-squash!
Why do pumpkins make great construction workers? They have strong cores!
What do you call a pumpkin who loves tractors? A tractor-squash-inologist!
Why do pumpkins make the best lawyers? They always squash the case!
How do you fix two broken pumpkins? With a double pumpkin patch!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite treat? Caramel Snicker-squashes!
Why didn’t the pumpkin stay at the fancy hotel? It couldn’t afford the gourd rate!
What happened to the pumpkin who couldn’t pay its taxes? It got repossessed!
Why don’t pumpkins make good dancers? They’ve got two left seeds!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite city? New Gourd City!
How did the pumpkin feel after getting a massage? Fantas-squash-ic!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite musical instrument? A Hallow-mandolin!
Why was Cinderella kicked out of the ball? She turned the pumpkin at midnight!
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch kit!
Why are pumpkins always so positive? They have such gourd attitudes!
What kind of pumpkin makes the best lanterns? Carve-y pumpkins!
Why was the pumpkin invited on the camping trip? It was an expert on squash lore!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Seed throwing!
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? To escape being pies!
How did the pumpkin know how hot it was outside? It checked its ther-gourd-ometer!
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite parade? The Macy’s Thanksgourd-ing Day Parade!
Why did the pumpkin have to go home early from the party? It wasn’t feeling vine!
What did the pumpkin say to the carving knife? “Don’t squash me, I’m just gourd for the fun!”
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My dating profile: “Gourd looking for someone to spice up my life. PSL lovers a plus.”
My therapist says I need to confront my gourd feelings. But I just can’t handle the rind-jection.
Spiked pumpkin spice lattes? The only witches I trust wear barista aprons.
Halloween candy is the only time I’m okay with trick-or-treating strangers. Especially if they offer gummy bats.
My costume this year? Existential dread dressed as a pumpkin. Boo!
I think my pumpkin is possessed. It keeps whispering, “Pick me… or face the gourd consequences.”
Can’t decide between pumpkin pie or cheesecake. Guess I’ll just have a gourd time trying both!
My neighbor carved a perfect Jack-o-lantern. Mine looks like a potato got mugged by a raccoon.
My secret talent? Juggling mini pumpkins while singing “I Put a Spell on You.”
I tried explaining Schrödinger’s cat to my pet pumpkin. Now I’m not sure who’s more confused.
Dating after 30 is like picking a pumpkin: You hope you don’t find a rotten surprise inside.
Pumpkin seeds: Nature’s tiny popcorn with added fiber and existential dread.
My workout plan: Lift heavy gourds until my seeds sweat.
I wear orange on Wednesdays. Just kidding, it’s just my pumpkin-stained fingers.
My life motto: “When life gives you pumpkins, make lattes.”
My therapist suggested I take up meditation. Now I spend hours staring into a pumpkin’s soul.
Went pumpkin picking with my friend. She got the perfect one, I got chased by a squirrel with an acorn vendetta.
My pumpkin carving skills are so bad, it looks like Frankenstein carved it with his feet.
Can’t wait for pumpkin season! The only time it’s socially acceptable to wear pajamas and eat pie for breakfast.
Pumpkin spice candles: Because real pumpkin smells like dirt and disappointment.
I’m single because I set the romance bar too high. Like, Jack Skellington high.
My life is like a pumpkin patch: full of possibilities, but mostly just squash.
My spirit animal is a pumpkin: big, round, and full of seeds of doubt.
Halloween: The only time it’s okay to wear a mask and ask strangers for candy.
My costume? I’m going as a socially awkward introvert… dressed as a pumpkin. Same diff.
Pumpkin carving fail? Nah, it’s abstract gourd art. You wouldn’t understand.
Tried making pumpkin cookies. They came out looking like lumps of orange despair.
I think I fell in love with a scarecrow. Guess you could say I’m gourd head over heels.
My Halloween decorating style: “Chaotic haunted hayride.”
My bank account after pumpkin spice season: “Me? Rich? Gourd no!”
I’m not saying I’m a pumpkin, but I do have a lot of seeds and a killer autumn glow.
My Halloween costume? Pumpkin spice latte spilled on a basic witch.
Therapist: “Tell me about your squash-related issues.” Me: “It’s all very vine-tangled.”
My dating life is like a pumpkin patch: lots of potential, but mostly just empty shells.
Pumpkin puns that’ll make you gourd-gle:
Went to the pumpkin patch, picked out a cutie, and now we’re going gourding steady.
My jokes are so bad, they’re pun-kin.
Also Read: – Hilarious Apple Puns
I’m not sure what’s more terrifying: a haunted house or a pumpkin spice latte with extra foam.
My Halloween costume? Jack-o-lantern with a social media addiction. Hashtag #GourdGoals
You’re the cherry on top of my pumpkin pie. (Bonus points for whipped cream hair!)
Pumpkin spice latte: the official beverage of basic witches and sweater weather enthusiasts.
My love life is like a pumpkin latte: hot for a while, then bitter and forgotten.
I’m not sure what’s more addictive: pumpkin spice or procrastination.
My Halloween resolution: to finally find the true meaning of pumpkin spice.
I’m the spice to your pumpkin. Together, we’re pie-fect.
Pumpkins: proof that round is the new skinny in the vegetable world.
Jack-o-lanterns: the original emoji, only with sharper teeth.
Halloween: the only time it’s socially acceptable to wear a giant, glowing head.
Pumpkin seeds: the snack that gets stuck in your teeth for days, but are totally worth it.
Fall foliage is nature’s way of saying, “Hey, remember pumpkin spice lattes?”
My pumpkin carving skills: so bad, it looks like a haunted potato.
My Halloween costume? A pumpkin with a bad case of the Mondays.
I’m not sure what’s scarier: a zombie apocalypse or running out of pumpkin spice lattes.
Halloween tip: if you see a pumpkin with a phone, don’t answer. It’s just taking selfies.
My spirit animal: a pumpkin. Round, orange, and full of seeds of potential.
Pumpkin spice latte: the official drink of “I’m not ready for summer to end.”
My Halloween costume? A pumpkin with a “Netflix and chill” vibe.
I’m not sure what’s worse: the pumpkin spice hype or the pumpkin spice backlash.
Pumpkin seeds: the snack that reminds you you haven’t flossed in weeks.
Happy Halloween! May your night be filled with laughter, candy, and (hopefully) no pumpkin-related injuries.
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