We’ve all been there – strapped into an airplane seat for hours on end, watching yet another lackluster in-flight movie while dreaming of our destination. The stale cabin air makes even the chattiest passengers quiet down, and restlessness sets in. What we all could use is some humor to lift our moods during those interminable hours in the sky. Who would have thought airplanes could be so funny?
But a whole range of puns and wordplay exists to give us a lift and bring a chuckle. Whether it’s the silly in-flight commentary over the intercom, ironic safety instructions, or amusing airport signs, there is plenty of comedic fodder when it comes to aviation. In this piece, we will review some of the funniest airplane and airport puns guaranteed to have you roaring with laughter even at 30,000 feet. From the check-in to the baggage claim, you’ll soon see that airplane humor really soars. Strap on your seatbelts and get ready for takeoff as we explore some side-splitting funny airplane puns wordplay! The jokes may be cheesy, but hey – laughter helps pass the time in the friendly skies.
Funny Airplane Puns
I asked the pilot if he could take me higher, but he said, “Sorry, it’s plane impossible.”
I’m afraid of flying, but I’ve decided to confront my fears. I’m taking off on a wing and a prayer!
The flight attendant asked me if I wanted a wing or a leg. I said, “No thanks, I’m vegetarian. Just a window seat, please!”
Why was the airplane so good at basketball? Because it knew how to “take off” for a slam dunk!
I told my friend I’m learning to fly a plane. They said, “Don’t wing it, or you might just propeller-self into trouble!”
Pilots have a great sense of humor. They always land their jokes perfectly!
The best thing about flying? It really lifts your spirits!
Why did the airplane break up with its pilot? It needed some space.
I asked the flight attendant for a recommendation on the menu. She said, “The sky’s the limit!”
I decided to join the mile-high club. I made a paper airplane at 5,280 feet!
I went to a restaurant on a plane. The food was good, but it was a bit plane.
The pilot told me that the plane’s job is to “jet” set around the world.
I tried to make a joke about airplanes, but it never took off.
I asked the flight attendant if they served breakfast in the sky. They replied, “Yes, but it’s over-easy to miss!”
I thought about becoming a pilot, but I was worried it might “propel” me into a different career path.
What did the airplane say to the little boat? “You’re really buoyant!”
I told my friend I dreamt of flying. They said, “Sounds like your aspirations are taking off!”
I met a pilot who was always nervous. He had a case of “flight fright.”
Why don’t airplanes study for tests? Because they always wing it!
I told the flight attendant I was feeling a little turbulence. They said, “Just go with the flow!”
What did the airplane do at the party? It took off to dance on the runway!
Why was the airplane arrested? It was caught smuggling luggage!
I’m planning a trip on an airplane. It’ll be a “winging” vacation!
The airplane’s favorite game? Fly and seek!
I tried to learn origami but ended up making an airplane. I guess I folded under pressure!
I told my friend flying is for the birds. They said, “Yeah, but it’s plane fun!”
Why was the airplane always calm during turbulence? It knew how to stay grounded!
The airplane had a hard time making friends. It always had a “turbulent” personality.
I asked the pilot if the flight would be long. They said, “No, just ‘plane’!”
What do you call an airplane that’s asleep? A plain nap!
I wanted to open a restaurant in an airplane. But I realized the idea might not take off.
I was going to tell you a joke about airplane engines, but it’s too “exhausting!”
What do you call a sheep flying in an airplane? A woolly navigator!
I’m friends with an airplane mechanic. They really know how to keep things flying smoothly!
I got a job cleaning airplanes. It’s a pretty ‘plane’ occupation.
Why did the airplane break up with the helicopter? It thought they were too “chopperative.”
I asked the flight attendant if this plane had Wi-Fi. They said, “No, but we do have ‘sky-fi’!”
I tried to build a model airplane, but it didn’t ‘take off’ as expected!
Why did the airplane go to school? It wanted a little more “aerodynamics” in its life!
I tried to learn about flying, but the information went way over my head!
What do you call an airplane that’s afraid to fly? Chicken Air!
I told my friend that I like airplane puns. They said, “That’s just plane silly!”
The airplane’s favorite book? “Gone with the Wind”!
I saw an airplane sleeping. It was on “standby.”
What did the airplane say to the flight attendant? “You’re winging it!”
I tried to make a paper airplane, but it just didn’t ‘fly’ with me.
Why did the airplane go to the doctor? It had jet lag!
I heard the airplane joined a band. It loves rock and roll, especially the “aero-dynamics” of it!
I told the airplane I loved it. It replied, “You really lift me up!”
What do you call a dog flying an airplane? A pilot retriever!
The airplane loved math. It was always into ‘plane geometry.
Why did the airplane bring a ladder to the bar? It wanted to reach new heights!
I’m not scared of flying; I’m scared of landing. That’s where things get “touchy.”
What did the airplane say to the scarf? “You hang around, and I’ll go on ahead!”
I asked the pilot if he believed in UFOs. He said, “I’m more into IFOs — Identified Flying Objects!”
The airplane became a motivational speaker. It really knows how to “take off” with an audience!
I wanted to make a pun about airplane food, but it was just too plain.
The airplane was great at sports. It could really “fly” on the soccer field!
Why did the airplane get in trouble at school? It was caught “soaring” above the rules.
I told the flight attendant I was cold. They said, “Don’t worry, things will ‘plane’ out soon.”
I tried to become friends with an airplane. Turns out, it was a bit ‘aloof.’
What’s an airplane’s favorite Beatles song? “Back in the U-Air!”
The airplane decided to write a book. It’s titled “Wings of Imagination.”
I asked the airplane if it was enjoying the flight. It said, “I’m sky-high right now!”
Why was the airplane so good at telling stories? It had a great “flight” of imagination!
I told the airplane I was feeling down. It said, “Just soar above your troubles!”
What do you call an airplane that can’t stop talking about itself? A boeing-viator!
I asked the airplane if it was afraid of heights. It said, “Nah, I’m above that!”
The airplane’s favorite place to hang out? The departure lounge!
Why did the airplane get a ticket? It was caught speeding through the clouds!
What’s an airplane’s favorite movie genre? Air-ction films!
I told the airplane I had a fear of flying. It said, “Don’t worry, I’ll help you ‘wing’ it!”
Hilarious Flying Jokes
What do you call a psychic midget that just escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
I went to the zoo the other day, but there was only one dog there. It was a shih tzu.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
Parallel lines have so much in common…It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I couldn’t figure out how the seat belt worked, so I just sat there and imagined I was wearing it. I died on impact.
Want to hear a pizza joke? Eh, nevermind, it’s pretty cheesy.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know which comes first.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.
I went to the Air and Space Museum, but it was all closed up. What a waste of space!
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was intense.
Two windmills are standing in a field. One asks the other “What kind of music do you like?” The other one says “I’m a big metal fan.”
Do you know where you can find chilli beans? At the North Poll.
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the roof.
I entered myself in a most beautiful man competition and won last place!
I told my suitcases there’s no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
My friend got mad at me for sniffing his sister’s panties. It didn’t help that they were still on her.
I don’t play soccer because I don’t enjoy kicking balls.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
My wife is really mad at our next door neighbor who sunbathes nude in her backyard. Personally I’m on the fence.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.
I threw a boomerang years ago and now I live in constant fear.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
I went to the eye doctor to get my eyes checked. He said I need glasses. I said I don’t think so, my eyesight is 2020.
I applied to be a doorman but didn’t get the job due to lack of experience. That surprised me, I thought it was an entry level position.
I heard there was a new store called Moderation that just opened up. They have everything there in moderation.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
I couldn’t get a reservation at the library. They were fully booked.
My friend keeps bragging that he’s 6’3″ and gets all the ladies. I’m only 5’11” but I get all the ladies too… Just not all at once like him.
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
What do you call a sleepy bull? A bulldozer!
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Want to hear a joke about construction? Nah, I’m still working on it.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who choked on a pretzel? He was very salty.
What did one antenna say to the other antenna? Nothing, they just waved.
“I love the feeling of takeoff. It’s like someone threw me at the Earth and missed.”
“Landing is basically controlled falling, but with more paperwork.”
“Is there a turbulence warning sign for the in-flight magazine? I’m getting seasick.”
“My ears are popping like bubble wrap filled with regret.”
“I’m sure this flight is perfectly safe. I mean, the pilot is wearing a tie. And a clip-on.”
“I’m pretty sure this seat was designed by circus clowns who hate tall people.”
“If I hear one more person say ‘airplane mode’, I’m going to throw my phone out the window (which I hope is airplane mode).”
“This in-flight entertainment system is about as exciting as watching paint dry…on a plane.”
“Excuse me, flight attendant, can I please get some extra peanuts? I need fuel for my existential dread.”
“I’m starting to think this is less of a plane and more of a flying cattle car.”
“Is it just me, or is this plane doing the Macarena?”
“This turbulence is so bad, I think the drink cart just had an existential crisis.”
“I’m pretty sure my soul just left my body for a smoke break.”
“Can we please turn on the ‘fasten seatbelt’ sign before we start doing barrel rolls?”
“I’m not sure what’s scarier: the turbulence or the guy trying to open the emergency exit.”
“The only thing more annoying than a crying baby on a plane is the parent who pretends they can’t hear it.”
“I’m going to start carrying a sign that says ‘Please don’t recline’ in every language.”
“I’m pretty sure the only reason flight attendants are so nice is that they’re terrified of turbulence.”
“I’m convinced the guy next to me is smuggling a small dog in his carry-on. It keeps barking and smells like wet dog food.”
“I’m pretty sure the guy in front of me is trying to recline his seat into my lap.”:
“I’m not sure what’s more impressive: the fact that we can fly or the fact that we haven’t crash-landed on the moon yet.”
“I’m convinced that airplane peanuts are the only food that can make you both hungry and nauseous at the same time.”
“I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning. It smells like adventure (and maybe a little bit of vomit).”
“I’m pretty sure the air is thinner up here, because my brain feels like it’s running on dial-up.”
“I’m not sure what’s more boring: the in-flight movie or the safety instructions that are narrated by a robot who sounds like he’s about to fall asleep.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m the only person on this plane who actually enjoys the descent. It’s like a free roller coaster ride.”
“I’m starting to think that airports are the only place where it’s acceptable to walk around in pajamas.”
“I’m convinced that airplane food is a conspiracy by the government to make us all hate flying.”
“I’m not sure what’s more uncomfortable: the seat or the fact that I’m sitting next to someone who keeps snoring like a chainsaw.”
“I’m starting to think that flying is just a series of inconveniences punctuated by moments of awe-inspiring beauty.”
Boarding Group A: Athletes, astronauts, and anyone who can jump over the first 5 rows.
I’d swear I saw someone bring an emotional support peacock onboard.
This boarding process is so slow, I feel like I could have walked to my destination faster.
Is it just me, or does the middle seat always magically shrink after you sit down?
I’m not claustrophobic, but I wouldn’t mind a window seat with a view of a parachute factory.
“We’re expecting some turbulence, please keep your trays in the upright position and your dignity intact.”
“If you see someone attempting to open the door mid-flight, please remind them we’re not a flying Uber.”
“For those of you who are confused, yes, the emergency exits are not the restrooms.”
“Don’t worry about the strange noises coming from the back, it’s just the pilot trying out his stand-up routine.”
“We’re happy to announce that we will be serving in-flight Wi-Fi… with a 50/50 chance of it actually working.”
“And now, for your in-flight entertainment, a heart-pounding performance by the wings and engines.”
“Don’t be alarmed by the screaming, it’s just me trying out my banshee impression.”
“Just a friendly reminder that the air masks will deploy automatically if the oxygen levels drop… or if anyone starts humming Despacito.”
“If you see someone praying, offering sacrifices, or trying to barter with the flight attendants, they’re probably just a little nervous flyer.”
“Please refrain from applauding after a bumpy landing. We’re professionals, not circus performers.”
“This in-flight meal is so good, it’s almost enough to make me forget about the microscopic legroom.”
“I’m not sure what’s more entertaining, the movie or the people trying to navigate the airplane bathroom.”
“I’m pretty sure the only reason they offer peanuts on airplanes is to see how chaotic it can get.”
“Just witnessed someone trade their entire in-flight meal for one bag of pretzels. I’m starting to question my own life choices.”
“Is it weird that I’m more excited about the free earbuds than the actual movie selection?”
“If your child screams for more than 10 minutes, you’re legally obligated to offer them to the pilot as a sacrifice.”
“I’m pretty sure the only crying baby on board is the one directly behind me.”
“If you hear someone singing “Wheels on the Bus” for the 100th time, please join in and create a symphony of despair.”
“I’m starting to think children are only allowed on airplanes to test the sanity of passengers.”
“To the parent who just let their child pee in the aisle, please know that I will be filing a formal complaint with the sky gods.”
“Is it just me, or does landing always feel like the airplane is trying to imitate a drunken penguin?”
“I’m not sure what’s more terrifying, the landing or the people suddenly remembering they need to use the restroom.”
“I’m pretty sure I heard the pilot say “hallelujah” after landing. I’m not religious, but I’m starting to believe.”
“Can we please give a round of applause to the pilot for not crashing into anything this time?”
“To the person who keeps asking “are we there yet?”, the answer is yes, we’re there now. Please stop asking.”
“I’m starting to think the only reason I fly is to collect miniature airplane bottles of alcohol.”
“If you ever see me reading a self-help book on airplane etiquette, please know that I’ve completely lost all hope in humanity.”
“Dear fellow passengers, please don’t recline your seat all the way back. We’re all adults here, let’s act like it.”
“I’m pretty sure I just saw someone sneak a full-sized watermelon onto the airplane. I’m not judging, but I’m also not sure how they plan to eat it.”