Bone puns utilize the many meanings and associations of the word “bone” to create humorous plays on words. Though simple in concept, bone puns remain enduringly popular across many forms of comedy. Masterful bone puns manage to tickle the funny bone while also rattling one’s skeletal framework with groan-inducing wordplay. The versatility of “bone” lends itself well to punning, as it can refer to everything from skeletal remains to tenacity to boredom.
Crafty comedians can mine bone puns for comedy gold, whether contrasting bones with lack of guts or pairing bones with musical instruments. While some consider bone puns bare-boned and lacking in meat, the skilled punster can use these tried-and-true quips to get an audience laughing from head to phalange. Love them or hate them, bone puns stubbornly refuse to be buried and will likely endure as comedic classics.
Funny Bone Puns
Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs!
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get out of bed? Lazy bones!
What do skeletons say before eating? Bone appetite!
Why can’t skeletons play church music? They have no organs!
What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie? You can’t fool me, I can see right through you!
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school? His heart wasn’t in it!
What kind of art do skeletons like? Skull tures!
Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school? He was boning up for his exams!
What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day? Bone-bones in a heart shaped box!
Who was the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones!
Why did the skeleton run up a tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They have no organs!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? A trom-bone!
What do you call a skeleton who lies out in the sun too long? Bone dry!
Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get out of bed in the morning? Lazy bones!
What do you give a skeleton for breakfast? Milk and bonemeal!
What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns? Skint Eastwood!
Why don’t skeletons like riding rollercoasters? They don’t have the stomach for it!
Why didn’t the skeleton want to play football? His heart wasn’t in it!
What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks? They had a rattling good time!
Why can’t a skeleton’s nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Where do skeletons go for fun? To the graveyard!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the morning? Lazy bones!
Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow too long? He was a numbskull!
Why can’t skeletons play music in church? They don’t have any organs!
What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off of? Bone china!
Why wasn’t the skeleton afraid of the closet? There was nothing in it to scare him!
What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have two beers and a mop!
Why do skeletons hate winter? Because the cold goes right through them!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get out of bed? Lazy bones!
Why didn’t the skeleton want to play soccer? Because his heart wasn’t in it!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones!
Why did the skeleton go to hospital? To have his ghoul stones removed!
How do skeletons call their friends? On the telebone!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the morning? Lazy bones!
Why can’t skeletons play music in church? They don’t have any organs!
What kind of art do skeletons like? Skulltures!
Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have any guts!
What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day? Bone-bones in a heart shaped box!
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle? I’m bone to be wild!
Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? He had no body to dance with!
What did the baby skeleton say to her mother? I have a bone to pick with you!
Why didn’t the two skeletons go out on a date? They didn’t have the heart!
What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road? Jump out of your skin and join him!
Why did the skeleton start a fight? He had a bone to pick.
What do you call a skeleton with no legs? A skull-ion.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? A bone-head.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms and no legs? A torso.
What do you call a skeleton with no eyes? A no-eye-ball.
What do you call a skeleton with no brain? A no-brainer.
What do you call a skeleton with no sense of humor? A bone-head.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to dance? A skele-ton.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to eat? A bone-appetit eater.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to travel? A globetrotter.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to read? A bookworm.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to sing? A bone-a-fide singer.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to play the trumpet? A trom-bone player.
What do you call a skeleton who loves to play the trombone in a jazz band? A bone-afide jazz musician.
Why do skeletons hate winter? Because it’s a pain in the neck.
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? He had a bone to pick with him.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the other side, of course!
What do you call a skeleton with no money? A bone-a-fide pauper.
What do you call a skeleton with no job? A bone-a-fide unemployed.
What do you call a skeleton with no car? A bone-a-fide pedestrian.
What do you call a skeleton with no house? A bone-a-fide homeless person.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? A bone-a-fide loner.
What do you call a skeleton with no family? A bone-a-fide orphan.
What do you call a skeleton with no pets? A bone-a-fide animal-lover.
What do you call a skeleton with no hobbies? A bone-a-fide couch potato.
What do you call a skeleton with no sense of direction? A bone-a-fide lost soul.
What do you call a skeleton with no sense of purpose? A bone-a-fide drifter.
What do you call a skeleton with no sense of humor? A bone-a-fide bonehead.
Hilarious Jokes on Bone
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
Because they don’t have the guts!
What do you call a skeleton who won’t share?
Selfish bone.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get another rib.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funny bone!
What do you call a skeleton that won’t work?
Lazy bones.
Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the dance?
He had no body to go with him.
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had no body to go with him!
What do you call a skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What did the skeleton order at the restaurant?
Spare ribs.
How do you make a skeleton laugh on Halloween?
Tickle its funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling a bit bone-tired.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
It could feel it in its bones.
What did the skeleton say when it got lost in the desert?
I’m bone-dry!
Why don’t skeletons fight in the army?
Because they have no guts.
How do you fix a broken skeleton?
With a rib-it glue.
Why don’t skeletons play hide and seek?
Because they’re afraid no one will find them.
What did one skeleton say to the other when they were in a fight?
You better bone up on your manners!
How did the skeleton know it was going to be a bad day?
It woke up on the wrong side of the crypt.
Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the bar?
Because it heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a skeleton who likes to surf?
A “bare” bones surfer.
How do you organize a skeleton party?
You “skull” everyone up!
Why don’t skeletons fight with each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What do you call a skeleton who acts in movies?
A bone actor.
What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes?
A funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton who plays music?
A trom-bone.
Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the bar?
Because it heard the drinks were on the roof!
How do skeletons stay in touch?
They use their cell-bones.
What kind of phone do skeletons use?
A bone-afide one.
What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with him.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What did the skeleton say when it couldn’t find its skull?
I’ve lost my head!
How do skeletons stay cool in the summer?
They use a “skele-fan.”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite room in the house?
The “living” room.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What do you call a skeleton with a sense of humor?
A “punny” bone.
Why did the skeleton refuse to play cards with the other skeletons?
Because he was afraid of getting caught with a “cheat bone.”
What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop talking?
Rattle mouth.
What do you call a skeleton who is always telling stories?
Funny bone!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because he had no body to go with him!
What do you call a skeleton that is always telling jokes?
A humerus comedian.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What do you call a skeleton that acts in movies?
A bone actor.
What do you call a skeleton who is always lying?
A phony bone.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop!
How do you know if a skeleton is lying to you?
You can see right through it.
What do you call a skeleton who cleans up after everyone?
A dustpan.
What do you call a skeleton who plays piano?
A decomposer.
Why did the skeleton go to the beach?
To get some “sun and bones.”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite mode of transportation?
The ferry-boat.
What do you call a skeleton who acts in movies?
A marrow-movie star.
What do you call a skeleton who’s really good at math?
A “bone”ified genius.
What do you call a skeleton that likes to play music?
A “trom-bone” player.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’ll have a beer and a mop, please.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite game at the casino?
Bone-go!
Why did the skeleton apply for a job in the bakery?
Because it kneaded dough!
What do you call a skeleton who sings and dances?
Elvis Parsley.
Why did the skeleton start a band?
Because it had the bones for it!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite dance?
The pelvic shuffle!
How do skeletons call for a taxi?
They “bone” the dispatcher.
Why did the skeleton bring a suitcase to the party?
Because it wanted to pack a punch!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite board game?
Operation!
Why was the skeleton always calm?
Because nothing got under its skin.
What do you call a skeleton that won’t share?
A “bone-afide” hoarder.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get another rib.
What do you call a skeleton that cleans?
A “dust” collector.
How do skeletons say hello?
They wave their hand-bones.
What do you call a skeleton that’s always late?
A tardy-cadaver.
Why do skeletons make terrible liars?
You can see right through them.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
How do you throw a skeleton party?
You bone-vite everyone!
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
Because it had no body to go with.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
I’ve got a bone to pick with you!