Welcome to the whimsical world of biology, where laughter is the best medicine, and puns are the DNA of humor! Get ready to embark on a rib-tickling journey through the intricate and sometimes downright quirky realms of biology with these funny puns.
Whether you’re a seasoned scientist or someone just dipping their toes into the petri dish of biological humor, these jokes are bound to tickle your funny bone and have you exclaiming, “Oh my ribosome!” So, grab your lab coat and safety goggles, because we’re about to unleash a cellular explosion of laughter that’s sure to leave you mito-sis-ting in more ways than one!
Hilarious Biology Puns
What do you call a biologist who studies plants? A botanist. What do you call a biologist who studies the ocean? A marine biologist. What do you call a biologist who studies fungi? A fun guy.
Why did the biologist cross the road? To get to the other cell.
What did the cell say to the other cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Why did the biologist fail biology? He was below C level.
What do you call a biologist with an attitude? A mean-o acid.
Why do biologists like to travel? It makes them more cultured.
What do hipster biologists wear? Skinny genes.
Why did the scuba diver fail biology? He was below C level.
How does a marine biologist end a conversation? Sea you later!
What do you call a biologist who studies the evolution of humans? A hominid-y guy.
What do you call a biologist who studies the human brain? A neuro-tic guy.
What do you call a biologist who studies the heart? A cardio-vascular guy.
What do you call a biologist who studies the lungs? A respiratory guy.
What do you call a biologist who studies the digestive system? A gastro-in-test-inal guy.
What do you call a biologist who studies the skin? A derma-tologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the muscles? A myologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the bones? An osteologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the nervous system? A neurologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the endocrine system? An endocrinologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the immune system? An immunologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies cancer? An oncologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies infectious diseases? An infectious disease specialist.
What do you call a biologist who studies genetics? A geneticist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the environment? An environmental scientist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of drugs on the body? A pharmacologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of radiation on the body? A radiologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of chemicals on the body? A toxicologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of disease on the body? A pathologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of aging on the body? A gerontologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of evolution on the body? An evolutionary biologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the effects of human activity on the planet? A conservation biologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies plants? A bot-anist.
What do you call a biologist who studies animals? A zoo-logist.
What do you call a biologist who studies bacteria? A bac-teriologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies viruses? A vi-rologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies evolution? An evo-lutionary biologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies cancer? An onco-logist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the brain? A neuro-scientist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the immune system? An immun-ologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies genetics? A gene-ticist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the environment? An eco-logist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the human body? A physio-logist.
What do you call a biologist who studies the cell? A cell-biologist.
What do you call a cell that’s always getting into trouble? A rebel cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always late? A tardy cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always telling jokes? A funny cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always singing? A melodic cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always dancing? A groovy cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always studying? A nerdy cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always eating? A hungry cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always sleeping? A lazy cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always working out? A buff cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always traveling? An adventurous cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always talking? A chatty cell.
What do you call a cell that’s always happy? A joyful cell.
What’s the difference between a biologist and a theologist? A biologist knows that evolution is a fact.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because he was extinct.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was evolving.
What do you call a group of fish with no eyes? Fsh!
What did the cell say when he ran into the table? Mitosis!
What do you call a cell with a bad attitude? A mean-dosome.
Why did the cell go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t feeling well.
What do you call a cell that’s always late? A pro-karyote.
What’s the difference between a cell and a lazy person? A cell divides.
Biology one liners on DNA
What do you call a DNA molecule that’s always telling jokes? A pun-net square.
What do you call a DNA molecule that’s always on the go? A helicase.
Why did the DNA molecule cross the road? To get to the other side of the transcription.
What’s the difference between a DNA molecule and a politician? A DNA molecule knows how to replicate itself.
Why did the DNA molecule get fired from his job at the replication factory? He kept making mistakes.
What do you call a biologist who studies plants? A botanist.
What do you call a biologist who studies animals? A zoologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies bacteria? A microbiologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies viruses? A virologist.
What do you call a biologist who studies everything else? A general biologist.
I’m studying to become a plantologist, I want to get down to the root of how plants grow!
The new restaurant is called Mitochondria because it’s the powerhouse of flavor!
I tried telling a chemistry joke but I got no reaction.
I’m reading a great book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
Atoms stuck together in a molecule? That’s bonding!
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta!
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
I knew I shouldn’t steal that bike, but it was just so two-tired.
The invisible man turned down the job offer. He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
I heard there was a new store called Moderation that just opened up. They have everything there!
Why do frogs like hops so much? They just do it for the hops of it.
The energizer bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
The guy that invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
A backward poet writes inverse.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity and it’s impossible to put down.
I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Did you hear about the zoo that only had one animal? It was a Shih Tzu.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Do these genes make my butt look big?
Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? To win the No-bell prize!
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt. Then it clicked.
Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support or people will think we’re nuts!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
Two hydrogen atoms run into each other. One says, “I’ve lost my electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “I’m positive!”
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water? He had a very esteemed colleague.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Hilarious Biology Jokes
Why did the cell go to therapy? It had too many issues with its nucleus.
Why do biologists make terrible comedians? They always break down when telling jokes.
Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? He was a cell-f mate.
Why do biologists make good lovers? They have the right genes for a romantic relationship.
What did the biologist wear to impress their date? Designer genes.
Why did the biologist go on a diet? Too many empty calories in the cell membrane.
What did the mitochondria say to the cell when it asked for some space? “I need my own powerhouse!”
Why did the biologist become a gardener? They wanted to get to the root of the problem.
How does a biologist express their love? They say, “You’re in my heart’s central dogma.”
What’s a biologist’s favorite pickup line? “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
Why did the biology teacher go to jail? For trying to murder the mitochondria—it was a real cell-icide.
Why did the biology book go to therapy? It had too many issues with commitment; it could never stick to one edition.
Why was the biology class so good at basketball? They had great cell coordination.
How does a biologist apologize? They say, “I’m sorry, I double-helixed up.”
What did one biology book say to the other? “I find you very engaging.”
Why did the amoeba never invite anyone to its parties? It was too single-celled.
What’s a cell’s favorite game? Mitosis and seek.
Why did the biologist cross the road? To get to the other cell.
Why was the biology test so easy? Because it had its DNA all over it.
How do you organize a space party? You planet.
Why did the bacteria break up with the virus? It needed space.
What did the biologist use to propose? A carbon ring.
What’s a biologist’s favorite type of party? A cell-ebration.
Why was the biology lecture so popular? It had good chemistry.
How does a biologist answer the phone? “RNA, who’s calling?”
What did the biology professor say to the cheating student? “You can’t run from your mitosis-takes!”
What’s a cell’s favorite TV show? Breaking Cell.
Why did the biologist become a musician? They had the best cell-ectric guitar.
What’s a biologist’s favorite type of sandwich? Genetic BLT.
Why did the amoeba never share? It was too selfish.
What did the biologist say to their crush? “You give my heart a good pumping.”
Why did the cell stay at home? It had a bad case of cell-f-consciousness.
How does a biologist relax? They go for a long cell walk.
Why did the biologist bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.
What do you call a cell that takes time off work? A vacation.
Why did the cell fail math class? It couldn’t divide.
What’s a cell’s favorite game show? The Price is Cell.
Why did the biologist become a gardener? They wanted to grow their own culture.
How does a biologist make coffee? With some DNApresso.
What did the biologist say to their plants? “I be-leaf in you!”
Why did the biology student bring a ladder to class? To reach the high cells.
What did the biologist say at the end of the date? “I think we have great chemistry.”
Why did the cell get promoted? It had a good nucleus of leadership.
What’s a cell’s favorite type of car? A mitochondria.
How does a biologist keep their hair in place? With cell gel.
Why did the biology teacher go to the beach? To study the shore cycle.
What did the biology book say to the student? “Read me, I’m cell-f explanatory!”
Why did the biologist become a chef? They wanted to create a perfect genetic recipe.
How do you comfort a botanist? “There, there, it’s just a plant in the ass.”
What did the biologist say to their partner? “You complete my Punnett square.”
Why did the plant break up with the soil? It needed space to grow.
What did the biology teacher say to the sleepy student? “Wake up and smell the chloroform.”
Why did the biologist become a musician? They had a good sense of rhythm and phloem.
What’s a biologist’s favorite movie? The DNA Vinci Code.
Why did the biologist bring a ladder to the bar? The drinks were on the celling.
How does a biologist express surprise? “Oh my codon!”
Why was the biologist a good therapist? They knew how to listen to cell-f-talk.
What did the biologist say to the procrastinator? “Stop mito-sissing around!”
Why did the bacteria join social media? It wanted to go viral.
What’s a biologist’s favorite dance move? The cell shuffle.
Why did the biology teacher break up with their partner? They needed more space.
What’s a biologist’s favorite type of cookie? Genetic Snickerdoodles.
How does a biologist apologize? “I’m sorry if my puns are a little chloroform.”
Why did the plant go to therapy? It had too many roots issues.
What did the biologist say to the microscope? “I’ve got my eye on you.”
Why did the biology professor go to space? To study alien life forms.
How does a biologist celebrate success? They throw a cell-abration.
What did the biology book say to the novel? “I’ve got more spine.”
Why did the cell go to school early? It wanted to be cell-f-taught.
What’s a biologist’s favorite exercise? Cell-u-lates.