Weddings are joyous occasions to celebrate love and new beginnings. Though steeped in tradition, weddings are also ripe for humor that can make the event entertaining and lighthearted. Puns in particular allow wedding guests and the newlyweds themselves to poke fun at the Pomp and Circumstance inherent in weddings through clever wordplay. Funny wedding puns put a comedic spin on the nuptials and the couples taking their vows.
From jokes about finding the perfect match and tying the knot, to quips about wedding planning stress and walking down the aisle, punny one-liners add punchy humor to receptions, speeches, signs, hashtags, and more. Amid an often emotionally-charged day, wedding puns inject levity and laughter for all. Though groan-worthy at times, these humorous puns offer amusement and bring smiles to guests’ faces. For couples who want a wedding with personality and wit, funny puns help create an unforgettable celebration.
Funny Wedding Puns
I heard the groom is getting cold feet. Let’s hope he can find a nice pair of socks to warm them up before the ceremony!
The bride was hoping for a destination wedding, but the groom said Fiji is too expensive. She’s still going to hold it against him though.
I wanted to get the bride and groom a nice wedding gift, but all I could a-fjord was this lousy pun.
Did you hear about the married spiders? They just celebrated their first web-iversary.
The bride insisted on sewing her own wedding dress. The groom told her not to stress, but she just couldn’t seam to help it.
Why does the bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she’s given her last kiss away as a single woman.
I wanted to make a toast at the wedding, but couldn’t think of anything gouda enough.
I heard the maid of honor whisper to the bride, “I think your groom is getting cold feet!” The bride said, “No, those are just my toes – this dress is too tight!”
Why do brides wear white? Because they want everyone to know the dishwasher’s working properly.
They say the groom tends to be more emotional during the wedding. I guess it makes him the blubbering idiot.
The bride threw the bouquet and all the single ladies went crazy trying to catch it. All except one who was heard saying, “I don’t need flowers, I need a man!”
Why do brides wear veils? So no one can see the fear in their eyes about choosing one person to be with forever.
Did you hear about the cold feet the bride got? The groom said not to worry, he would knit her some socks before the ceremony.
What did one plate say to the other plate at the wedding reception? Dinner is on me tonight!
The priest asked if the bride would take the groom as her lawful wedded husband. She responded, “I don’t know, can I try him out first?”
I wanted to play some romantic music at the wedding reception, but I couldn’t find anything in the right clef.
The best man was last seen running from the church in tears. I guess he just couldn’t hold his peace together.
Why was the flower girl frustrated? Because she couldn’t hold all those petals in one basket.
The bride threw the bouquet and I almost caught it, but it slipped through my fingers. Thankfully no one noticed because they were all laughing at the drunk bridesmaid who faceplanted trying to catch it.
I heard the groom’s cake will be shaped like a football. I guess that’s fitting since he’s been tackled into marriage.
Why did the guest leave the wedding early? He only came for the open bar.
Did you hear about the accident with the wedding cake? It ended up in tiers.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always on time? A bride-al clock.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always running late? A groom-s cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always on the go? A honeymoon cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always up for a party? A wedding crasher cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always telling jokes? A wedding punster cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people laugh? A wedding comedy cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people cry? A wedding tragedy cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people think? A wedding philosophical cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people hungry? A wedding delicious cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people fall asleep? A wedding boring cake.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always making people angry? A wedding expensive cake.
What did the groom say to the bride at the altar? “I can’t wait to tie the knot with you!”
What did the bride say to the groom on their honeymoon? “I’m so glad we’re finally hitched!”
What did the wedding cake say to the bride and groom? “Have a slice day!”
What did the wedding photographer say to the bride and groom? “Say cheese!”
What did the wedding planner say to the bride and groom? “Don’t worry, I’ve got everything under control!”
What did the wedding officiant say to the bride and groom? “Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife?”
What did the wedding guests say when they saw the bride and groom? “They make a cute couple!”
What did the wedding band say when they played their last song? “That’s a wrap!”
What did the wedding caterer say when the food was all gone? “Mission accomplished!”
What did the wedding bartender say when the drinks were all gone? “Last call!”
What did the wedding DJ say when the party was over? “Good night, everyone!”
What do you call a wedding that’s always on the move? A traveling wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always late for everything? A fashionably late wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always on a budget? A frugal wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always over the top? A lavish wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of surprises? A spontaneous wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of drama? A theatrical wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of laughter? A comedic wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of tears? A sentimental wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of love? A romantic wedding.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of joy? A happy wedding.
Hilarious Jokes on Wedding
Why did the bride bring a ladder to the wedding?
She wanted to take her relationship to the next level!
What do you call a couple who marry in June?
Jolly newlyweds!
Why did the groom bring string to the wedding?
To tie the knot, of course!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of wedding?
A “blood-tiful” ceremony!
Why did the wedding cake go to therapy?
It had too many layers of issues!
What did the bride say to her groom on their wedding day?
“I’ve been waiting for this ‘ring’-ding moment all my life!”
Why did the bride and groom go to the bank on their wedding day?
They wanted to open a joint account!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite part of a wedding?
The “dead”ication of love!
Why did the wedding photographer get in trouble?
He couldn’t focus on the big picture!
What do you call a couple who can sing well together?
A perfect “duet” for each other!
Why did the bride bring a pencil to the wedding?
In case she needed to draw a conclusion!
What do you call a married spider?
A webbing!
Why did the groom bring a calendar to the wedding?
To remember the anniversary date!
What did the bride say to the wedding cake?
“You take the ‘tier’ of my eye!”
Why did the bride bring a broom to the wedding?
To sweep her groom off his feet!
What did the wedding cake say to the guests?
“I’m in tiers!”
Why did the bride refuse to play hide and seek?
She didn’t want the groom to find out how much she was hiding!
What’s a magician’s favorite part of a wedding?
The disappearing act during the speeches!
Why did the bride bring a map to the wedding?
In case love got lost!
What’s a computer’s favorite type of wedding?
A byte-sized ceremony!
Why did the bride and groom go to therapy?
They needed to work on their “knot” issues!
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet-hearts!
Why did the groom bring a mirror to the wedding?
To reflect on the importance of the day!
What’s a penguin’s favorite thing about a wedding?
The ice-breaking dance moves!
Why did the bride bring a stopwatch to the wedding?
To make sure it was a timely union!
What do you call a wedding on the moon?
A celestial ceremony!
Why did the bride bring a football to the wedding?
To kick off the reception!
What did the best man say to the groom before the wedding?
“It’s not too late to run!”
Why did the wedding cake go to school?
It wanted to be a layer!
What did one wedding say to the other wedding?
“I dew!”
Why did the bride bring a bell to the wedding?
To ring in the marriage!
What’s a scarecrow’s advice for a happy marriage?
Keep things straw-tight!
Why did the groom bring a suitcase to the wedding?
He was ready for the honeymoon!
What did the wedding cake say to the knife?
“You’re going to cut me into pieces!”
Why did the wedding photographer go to jail?
He shot the bride!
What do you call a stolen wedding?
A taken knot!
Why did the bride wear a mermaid dress?
She wanted to catch her groom!
What do you call a couple who met in a bakery?
Muffin compares to them!
Why did the groom bring a GPS to the wedding?
To navigate the sea of love!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved!
Why did the bride bring a magnifying glass to the wedding?
To make sure it was a “big day”!
What’s a mathematician’s favorite part of a wedding?
The addition of two hearts!
Why did the bride bring a hammer to the wedding?
To nail down her commitment!
What did the groom say to the bride’s dad?
“I promise to always return her phone calls!”
Why did the bride wear a rainbow-colored dress?
She wanted to tie the knot in style!
What do you call a wedding on a roller coaster?
A love loop!
Why did the bride bring a plant to the wedding?
Because it was a “growing” relationship!
What’s a magician’s favorite type of wedding?
A disappearing act!
Why did the wedding cake go to the doctor?
It had a case of the “layer” infection!
What did the groom say to the comedian?
“Make sure the jokes are knot too cheesy!”
Funny One Liners on Wedding
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always on time? A punctual pastry.
What do you call a wedding dress that’s made of cake? A matri-monial confection.
What do you call a wedding planner who’s always stressed out? A knot-ty organizer.
What do you call a wedding that’s always behind schedule? A tardy matrimonial.
What do you call a wedding that’s always over budget? A pricey pair.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of drama? A bridezilla bonanza.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of surprises? A happily ever after mystery.
What do you call a wedding that’s always full of love? A matrimonial masterpiece.
What do you call a wedding guest who’s always late? A tardy reveler.
What do you call a wedding guest who’s always on their phone? A distracted reveler.
What do you call a wedding guest who’s always eating? A hungry reveler.
What do you call a wedding guest who’s always dancing? A footloose reveler.
What do you call a wedding guest who’s always singing? A karaoke reveler.
What do you call a wedding cake that’s always a hit? A crowd-pleasing pastry.
What do you call a wedding meal that’s always delicious? A matrimonial masterpiece.
What do you call a wedding cocktail that’s always refreshing? A matrimonial margarita.
What do you call a wedding dessert that’s always sweet? A matrimonial muffin.
What do you call a wedding appetizer that’s always a crowd-pleaser? A matrimonial mini-quiche.
What do you call a wedding champagne toast that’s always bubbly? A matrimonial fizz.
What do you call a wedding beer toast that’s always fun? A matrimonial froth.
What do you call a wedding wine toast that’s always romantic? A matrimonial merlot.
What do you call a wedding cocktail toast that’s always festive? A matrimonial margarita.
What do you call a wedding dessert toast that’s always sweet? A matrimonial mimosa.
What do you call a wedding dance that’s always a hit? A matrimonial mosh pit.
What do you call a wedding dance that’s always romantic? A matrimonial waltz.
What do you call a wedding dance that’s always fun? A matrimonial swing dance.
What do you call a wedding dance that’s always festive? A matrimonial cha-cha.
What do you call a wedding dance that’s always sweet? A matrimonial slow dance.
What do you call a wedding gift that’s always useful? A matrimonial must-have.
What do you call a wedding gift that’s always thoughtful? A matrimonial masterpiece.
What do you call a wedding gift that’s always unique? A matrimonial one-of-a-kind.
What do you call a wedding gift that’s always creative? A matrimonial masterpiece.
What do you call a wedding gift that’s always funny? A matrimonial gag.
What do you call a wedding ceremony that’s always perfect? A matrimonial match made in heaven.
What do you call a wedding reception that’s always a party? A matrimonial bash.
What do you call a wedding honeymoon that’s always romantic? A matrimonial getaway.
What do you call a wedding anniversary that’s always celebrated? A matrimonial milestone.
What do you call a wedding that’s always filled with love and happiness? A matrimonial masterpiece.